var EXtitle = "AGC's Old Evil Campaign: Part 1"
var ljpost = "234572";
var tablewidth = "300";
var text1 = "| This is NOT a 'Real D&D Excerpt', in fact unlike all the other ones, this is a decidedly UNREAL and totally FICTIONAL excerpt, covering some of the Old Evil Campaign from Another Gaming Comic. The characters are from a period in the history of AGC (the times before AGC #1), but following the conventions of my D&D Excerpts, they will all be refered to by the names of their in-game characters, except for the GM. Of course, if you've read AGC, you should have little trouble guessing who is who... Please note also that this game is played under the fictional '2.5 Edition' of D&D, which blends many properties of AD&D 2nd Edition with a little 3.0, and a lot of creative leeway. |
The backstory of the adventure is that the four protagonists had joined forces for a one-time heist, plundering the riches of a maze of catacombs beneath a Temple of Kord. Only once they were within the dungeon they learned that it was much older than the present temple on the surface, and the ruins were in fact dedicated to an ancient chaos deity called Naraxus. Of course, they still took the treasure. Later, they were dividing up the spoils with no intention of ever meeting again, when a lesser Avatar of Naraxus appeared to them and charged them with a task as 'penance' for what they had taken: they had one month to dethrone the benevolent 'God-King' Amamensis in the neighboring kingdom of Tavaris. Should they fail, their bodies would be taken by chaos and their souls devoured. If they did not work together, they were doomed.
In the first week of the adventure, the foursome journeyed to the capital of Tavaris and gathered information. Most importantly, they learned that 'God-King' is more of a title, and that on his own, Amamensis would be little match for them. They learned that the capitol city is controlled by the elite military unit known as the Opal Phalanx, and that they are strong enough that openly storming the palace would be very risky. Worse, the Phalanx is lead by four former adventurers (the Opal Guardians) who are individually MORE powerful than the PCs, so it would be necessary to divide and conquer them to get at Amamensis. Finally, they investigated the local resistance movement, and determined that the disgruntled thugs and mafia-types were pretty-much useless.
GM: Okay, we've only had one week with this party, so let's start by going around the table quickly and reminding everybody about your characters.
Levinson: We played a whole night together with these characters. It was only a week ago. Do you think we are goldfish, that we would forget who the hell we are?
GM: It's good to get everyone in the mood, plus it gives you a chance to boast about your guy's reputation or accomplishments.
Pyrov: My name is Pyrov the Faceburner, and I burn people's faces. Next...
Ingvar: 'I am Ingvar the Invulnerable! Heroes tremble to hear my name, and flee when they hear the clank of my armor, but no one has seen my face and lived to tell of it. I will paint my mask with the blood of Amamensis before this is over.'
Baron: 'I am Baron Von Schtandholdt. My fiefdom is to the North of here in Elmshade Vale, where I am both respected and feared by the neighboring Lords. My peasants work hard, and in return they are protected by my militia, and more importantly, by the wizardry of the great Baron Von Schtandholdt.'
Pyrov: You're also an elf.
Baron: I am strikingly tall and handsome, wearing fine military livery, a white mantle, and a silver-rimmed monocle.
Pyrov: You're also an elf.
Baron: I am. I don't see the relevance other than the fact that I have much better stats than your rather feeble hobgoblin variant.
Pyrov: I'm a DIRE hobgoblin! I have +1 Int!
Ingvar: And rather appalling penalties to your wisdom, charisma and con. Seriously, -2 constitution? What were you thinking...
Pyrov: At least I'm not an elf.
GM: And Levinson? Your character?
Levinson: [sighs] 'I am Archdeacon Levinson of the Church of Holy Insight. I am a respected community leader and a reknowned healer. I am tall, dark and handsome in my rich red priestly robes.' Can we get on with it now?
Ingvar: Church of Holy Insight, that still makes me giggle.
Baron: Well if you worshipped Vecna, would call yourself the Church of Evil Magic and Secrets? They'd be at your door with pitchforks the very next day.
Ingvar: True. Then again, Evil Magic and Secrets might actually attract MORE followers.
GM: Alright, when we ended last time, you guys had attacked the tax collectors alongside the Resistance to test both them and the city guard...
Levinson: Resistance my ass, they were crap.
GM: It's true, the elite troops of the Opal Phalanx proved very well trained, and without you the insurgents would have been wiped out.
Ingvar: They WERE wiped out. Out of the group we attacked with, we were the only ones who made it back to the rendezvous.
GM: That's not true, George made it back.
Baron: George is a spy and a traitor. He let them know we were coming.
GM: He probably thinks YOU guys are the traitors, you're the ones who just joined the movement a few days ago. Besides, he got a nasty sword wound to his arm.
Baron: His RIGHT arm. I wish to make an Int check to remember which hand he used to point things out on the map before we set out.
GM: Okay... you're pretty sure he pointed out the side-street with his left hand, but that doesn't...
Baron: He's the traitor. The Opal Phalanx will be on the lookout for Pyrov and Ingvar, and it's a good thing Levinson and I were wise enough to disguise ourselves.
Levinson: I told you two!
Pyrov: Whatever, they're just guards.
Ingvar: Ingvar needs no disguise! Ingvar fears no-one!
Levinson: Needs no disguise? Your armor has a built-in full face mask and 'nobody has seen your face'.
Ingvar: Not and lived to tell the tale.
GM: You still have no evidence that George is a spy.
Baron: I cast Detect Thoughts.
GM: Fine, he's a spy.
Ingvar: 'Hey, watch it with that magic!' I raise my Trident threateningly while we're still in the first round of concentration.
Baron: Really? Ingvar knows what spell it is? Interesting skillset, for a full-plate warrior.
Ingvar: Ingvar recognizes your spell, yes.
Baron: 'It's necessary to find out who his contact is.'
Ingvar: Then I use the shaft of my trident to thrust him into the corner, and I back the hell off.
Levinson: Hell ya, I back up behind the Baron too. 'Very well, you have 18 seconds, but then you'd better cancel your spell, or we'll cancel it FOR you. And keep facing the spy. If you turn your 90-degree cone towards us, you'll regret it.
Baron: 'Naturally. The spell's still warming up though, I'll have only 2 chances to read his mind.'
Levinson: 'I'm sure that's enough for The Great Baron Von Schtandholdt.'GM and Baron passed notes back and forth about the contents of George's mind, since Baron didn't want to share the information with the whole group. Then the group split up and headed back to their own hideout, and each of them passed notes back and forth with GM, whether or not they had any secret actions, so that nobody would know for sure if anybody else was planning something. They met up again several hours later at the small house Baron had rented.
Baron: 'Servant, bring us some Merlot to help us think.'
GM: The dwarf nods, and leaves the room, returning with a bottle and several glasses on a tray.
Pyrov: Okay, how do they know which one you are talking to? You always just say 'Servant'?
Baron: There are only two of them here, and I can assure you, they each know their roles.
Ingvar: When the dwarf offers me a glass, Ingvar nods no, and glares at him till he moves on.
GM: The other servant, the elven one, sounds outraged: 'How dare you refuse Baron Von Schtandholdt's gracious hospitality!'
Baron: I raise my hand to silence him, 'Ingvar means no offense, he simply does not drink. We are all friends here'.
Pyrov: I HATE that stupid elf servant.
Ingvar: I told you before, Baron hired those NPCs, and he instructed GM how they are to behave, so that the one is brash and obnoxious to everyone, and then Baron gets to mediate and sound reasonable all the time. It's a ploy to give him a subconscious aura of authority.
Levinson: 'We need to figure out how to divide and conquer the Opal Guardians.'
Pyrov: 'The who-what?'
Ingvar: 'The four competent guards we heard of. From the rumors, we cannot defeat them all at once.'
Baron: 'Rumors nothing; my divinations indicate that any two of them would be a challenging battle. We should confront them only with a decisive advantage.'
Levinson: And so I swirl my Merlot, and again I ask: 'How to divide and conquer the Opal Guardians?'
Pryov: 'The who-what?'
Levinson: Shut up.
Ingvar: 'Traditional choices would be either to launch a two-pronged assault, to send one elsewhere with false information, or to kidnap one of their families.'
Levinson: 'I have checked into the last option already. Two of them are orphans, and the other two families live in the palace. It's not impossible, but we would have to wait for an opportunity when they leave the safety of the grounds, and we do not have weeks to wait.'
Baron: 'Curse that Naraxus for forcing me to act so rapidly and overtly. This is not how I like to operate.'
Ingvar: 'In my gut I favor an assault, of course. But the palace is too well guarded, and I do not know what other target would draw out the Guardians.'
Pyrov: 'So then we do the information thingy. We tell them we'll be over there, then we attack over here. Wherever here is. Or there.'
Levinson: 'And how do we tell them without casting suspicion on ourselves?'
Pyrov: 'I don't know, send them a letter?'
Baron: 'Hmm, perhaps there is a way to combine the three ideas.'
Pyrov: 'Can you be a little more specific? Anybody can say just combine all three.'
GM: [the Elf servant] 'Show some respect, goblin! Do not doubt the genius of Baron Von Schtandholdt.'
Pyrov: I swear, one of these days that servant's gettin' a fireball upside the head.
Ingvar: [sighs, shaking his head]After some more debate and a lot of planning and divination, they agree on a plan. Rather than go after the families of the Opal Guardians, they would target the God-King's family, specifically, his father's tomb. Ingvar and Pyrov would go back to the Resistance and take it over, planning to strike at the King's father's pyramid outside of the city (the idea being to fund the Resistance with the riches therein). Meanwhile, the two 'respectable' villains (using Undetectable Alignment) would seek audience with King Amamensis, and would warn him of the graverobbing (by virtue of their supposed divinations). Later, George the traitor (or more accurately, Baron Von Schtandholdt under an Alter Self spell) would warn his contact of the very same attack, helping Levinson and the Baron to earn the King's trust. Then, on the night of the attack, the Archdeacon and the Baron would accompany the force sent to stop the graverobbers, and when they clashed with the resistance (and the more overtly villainous members of the party), they would all turn on whichever of the Opal Guardians had been sent, kill them, then kill everyone else, soldiers and Resistance alike, and make up whatever story they liked.
All the preparations went more-or-less as planned. Pyrov and Ingvar were clearly more powerful than the rest of the Resistance combined, and most were glad follow them. The 'benevolent God-King' was a little less than warm to Archdeacon Levinson, making it clear that his nation's religious tolerance would be extended to his Church of the Holy Insight, so long as he followed the laws of the land. But Levinson and Baron did gain some trust when 'George' confirmed the attack they had warned of. They also had another group note-passing session in case anyone had further 'secret actions'... such is the nature of the Evil campaign.
Baron: The sad thing is, I could have ended it all in the throne room if not for GM's appalling nerfs to teleport.
GM: What you're saying is 'thank you, GM, for making a change to prevent the adventure from being completely invalidated'.
Levinson: You can argue logic and game-balance all day long, but I still miss teleport-ganks. It was a whole different level of strategy, before you made all those spells useless.
GM: Teleport (and higher level variants), with a three round cast time, still takes you anywhere. It fulfils its narrative purpose without being a 100% guaranteed escape from any situation. And because it was so important to you all, I left Dimension Door totally unaffected.
Baron: You put a 1-hour shared cooldown on all teleport spells INCLUDING door.
GM: It was either that, or the 3-round casting time on Dimension Door too. Otherwise, you just Dimension Door to a good hiding place 400 feet away and then the 3-round cast on Teleport is meaningless.
Pyrov: Well you DIDN'T kill him and teleport away, so let's get a move on already. I still think the healer should have come with me, though. It's us on the Resistance team who are going to catch the initial heat from those Opal guys.
Baron: Two of us are respectable members of the noble caste, capable of being accepted by King Amamensis' court.
Levinson: Whereas you are a hobgoblin pyromaniac and Ingvar is like Jason Voorhees in full plate.
Ingvar: Aww, I totally should have gone with a machete for my cold-iron backup weapon.
GM: Well, everything is set. We'll start out with the Resistance side of things. As you creep towards the smaller of the two pyramids, there appear to be only two guards patrolling it.
Ingvar: Actually, most cultures consider two guards to be a lot for a tomb which is also buried and booby-trapped.
GM: You and your two-dozen Resistance thugs have no trouble taking them out, and both the city and the other pyramid are far enough apart that there's little risk of raising the alarm.
Pyrov: Okay, I whip out the scroll of... whatever it is, the spell Baron gave me to get into the tomb.
Baron: Whatever-it-is?
Pyrov: Ya, that scroll you gave me.
Baron: It's Dig. The spell is called Dig... you couldn't remember 'Dig'?
Pyrov: Little details aren't important, I focus on the big picture.
Baron: Assuming I accept your unlikely premise, what pray tell is 'the big picture' then?
Pyrov: We are tricking somebody into doing something so we can kill them. Then we can kill that other guy.
Baron: As utterly hopeless as you are, that degree of nonsense can only be intentional.
Pyrov: Ya, I'm just jerking your chain. Anyway, I cast Dibs.
Baron: Dig.
Pyrov: Whatever.
Ingvar: We'll locate the entrance using the map Levinson made us.
GM: Alright, Pyrov casts Dig at the spot Levinson showed you, starting a large hole. After about four rounds, the hole has grown to a 5-foot wide tunnel, 20 feet long, when your spell uncovers the heavy stone doors.
Pyrov: 'Haha! Our treasures await, boyz!'
GM: The thugs rush forward and try to pull open the double doors, but they seem to be too heavy. They all get together and try to pull on the left one, but the handle isn't big enough for more than three or four to get a grip.
Ingvar: Ingvar stomps down the dirt tunnel towards the door, thrusts his trident shaft-first into the ground and grasps the door on the right-hand side. Bracing himself, he gives a mighty heave!
GM: Then give me a mighty roll.
Ingvar: 14?
GM: With your strength... yep, the huge stone slab begins sliding slowly outward. It doesn't swing open nicely, and you have to apply a lot of continuous force, not just the initial heave, but you manage to keep it moving and drag the door wide open.
Ingvar: Rawr! Ingvar says nothing, he just stomps back over, snatches his trident from the ground and faces the dark doorway.
GM: The members of the resistance are cowed and impressed, but as they gaze into the darkness, nobody seems willing to venture in first.
Pyrov: I cast Continual Flame on my gloves and bound past them all, cackling maniacally!Leaving two men on watch, the rebel group began making their way through the traps of the tomb, defeating a golem along the way. Meanwhile, the palace group was in the process of warning the authorities.
Levinson: 'Lord Amamensis, the attack we warned of is happening. As we speak they are breaching the tomb of Akramensis the Third.'
GM: [King Amamensis] 'I don't understand. I have kept my taxes reasonable, and used the wealth to build my nation's roads and aquaducts. I have brought in temples of healing, and I provide security for my people. What have I done so wrong that they would be driven to disrupt my father's eternal rest?'
Baron: 'Such is the burden of Lordship; there will always be those who blame you for some minor grievance, or who are jealous of your power. Even my vassals have been known to find fault.'
Levinson: Ha! I pity the poor bastards that have to work for Baron.
Baron: Out-of-character comments aside, 'We will go to intercept them, but without my militia or the Archdeacon's honor-guard, I'm not certain we can overcome the monsters who attacked at the marketplace days ago.'";
var table1 = "GM: One of the four bodyguards in gold-trimmed armor speaks: 'The two hobgoblin wizards and that pair of masked villains killed over a dozen of the Opal Phalanx elite guards - and escaped. It may be prudent for myself and Zargon-Ra to deal with them.' Amamensis considers this, and nods: 'Very well Teral-Nerub, you shall take two dozen guards to crush the so-called resistance and rescue the tomb of my ancestor, and the two foreign Lords shall accompany you. Archdeacon Levinson, Baron Von Schtandholdt, if you succeed, your invaluable assistance shall be rewarded, and you will have my gratitude.'
Levinson: 'Thank you, Great Amamensis.'
Baron: 'By the end of this night the resistance will be no more.' We bow and leave, along with the two Opal Guardians he sent.
Ingvar: That only leaves two, if we can drop Zargon and Teral.
Pyrov: Their phony Egyptian names are so weird, which two did he send again?
Baron: Your character wouldn't know what happened up here, but if I can find a brief moment to cast Whispering Wind...
GM: You can, though the spell says it travels miles above ground. I don't know about reaching them in the dungeon.
Baron: That's why I instructed them to leave two men on watch right outside the tomb. I'll send my message just outside the spot where Levinson determined the buried doors to be, so one of the watchmen can venture in and warn Ingvar and Pyrov: 'The Opal Assassin and the Paladin are coming. Stop your advance and wait in ambush. Trust not your eyes.'";
var table2 = "When they attacked the tax-collectors the previous week, Baron had used Alter Self to appear to be a hobgoblin (like Pyrov). Archdeacon Levinson used a masquerade mask and filthy hooded robes for a far less sophisticated disguise, which nevertheless got him lumped into the same category as the terrifying masked Ingvar, as far as witness accounts were concerned.";
var text2 = "The players split up briefly, with Levinson and Baron chilling in the kitchen for a few minutes while the resistance crew prepared their defense. Once the message got through to them, Ingvar selected the most defensible spot he could find, a doorway right after a 20-foot deep pit trap. Though it had already been tripped (much to the chagrin of two rebel thugs), the trap would force enemies to balance along the foot-wide edges before converging only 4-feet from the door. To increase their advantage even further, Ingvar and several of the goons managed to chip a stone (the size of a concrete block) out of the wall on each side of the doorway to allow Pyrov (and some crap guy with a crossbow) to unload on the attackers. Then they pushed the loose blocks back into place so that they wouldn't be visible until it was too late.
Pyrov: 'We've so going to explode those goody-twoshoes...'
Ingvar: 'Do not underestimate our opponents. The others warned that if anything they are deadlier than you and I.'
Pyrov: 'You think the scorpions in the pit are still hungry?'
Ingvar: They're dungeon mobs... there's probably been nobody in here in decades since it was completed and sealed off. They obviously don't need to eat, drink or breathe, so presumably they are just permanently ravenous.
Pyrov: So what the hell does 'trust not your eyes' mean? Breaking the Treaty?
Ingvar: Not a chance. And given that they WON'T be using any banned Illusion spells, what he means is fairly obvious.
Pyrov: Ohhhh... I don't get it.Once they were ready, Pyrov and Ingvar traded places with the players in the kitchen, so the 'good guys' team could plan their assault. The only thing that was certain was that things would go badly for the two elite bodyguards. Outside, the Opal Guardians arrived and prepared their force for the counter-assault on the tomb of Akramensis, father of the current God-King Amamensis. Levinson and Baron tried very hard to restrain their own strong personalities, and their desire to lead, letting Zargon the Assassin and Teral the Paladin take charge.
Levinson: So what is our marching order?
GM: Teral seems to be in charge: 'Zargon will scout ahead, I will take the lead, while Gemma and Marduk will guard the rear. Since you two are not martially trained, you will be protected in the middle of the formation. I hear you both wield powerful magic, so you should do well there.'
Baron: 'We will clear our enemies from the tomb, worry not.'
Levinson: 'I think you'd be surprised what we can do. But the physical protection is appreciated.'
GM: You guys are a little TOO good at being two-faced. You make your way quickly through the maze that the Resistance has cleared, and soon enough Zargon reappears next to the paladin: 'Around the bend, the next doorway is held against us by the masked warrior, and by their shuffling sounds, eleven others hide behind him. Unfortunately, they are stationed behind an open scorpion pit, and our men will be horribly exposed attempting to pass around it.'
Baron: 'Perhaps I can help with that.' I'll explain what I'm doing first, in terms they can understand, then I'll cast Invisibility on Teral, and Invisibility 10-foot Radius on one of the soldiers.
Levinson: 'Good plan, the Paladin can approach on one side of the pit, while a half-dozen of the guards can cross the other side, without being seen.'
Baron: 'Exactly, and as soon as they engage, the rest of us will charge out and use ranged attacks across the gap.'
GM: Teral is not thrilled about concealing himself, but he loathes the idea of sacrificing his men in an open assault on that door, and Zargon the Assassin talks him into it.
Baron: 'If it will ease your sense of honor, we can issue a challenge from around the corner and give them a chance to surrender. Doing so might also cover the sounds of your team's approach.'
And so the other players returned to the room for the upcoming confrontation. GM: From around the corner, you hear the sounds of armored feet.
Baron: I call out with authority: 'We know you are the ones who slaughtered the guards in the marketplace two days ago. You are outnumbered and trapped, surrender now if you wish to live.'
Ingvar: Well if they know where we are, I'll move right into the middle of the doorway. 'We were outnumbered at the market too. Come at me if you dare.' Of course, now that I know THEY are here, I'll switch on my Corsair's eyepatch for a round to See Invis.
Pyrov: I didn't know you had an eyepatch?
Ingvar: It's under the facemask.
Levinson: Not a big fan of peripheral vision, eh Ingvar?
Ingvar: Why don't you look me straight in the eye and say that? [sticks tongue out] | | Notice how carefully Baron selects his words. It is clear to his royal 'allies' that his warning is intended to intimidate the Resistance, however he manages to evoke the image of guards being 'slaughtered' in the previous encounter, to give the soldiers pause. |
|
GM: Your single round of See Invis shows you six soldiers edging along the edge of the pit to the right of you, and a solitary figure in ornate Tavarian full plate moving slowly towards you on the left side of the pit.
Ingvar: I'll bring down the bottom of my trident shaft hard against the stone floor, making a sound that echoes throughout the chamber. Then I whisper: 'Right side' to Pyrov.
Pyrov: I push out the loose block and cast a fireball through the hole: 'DIE! DIE! DIE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!'
GM: A semi-sphere of flame erupts seemingly from the right-hand wall (from the resistance point of view), injuring the soldiers and blasting them into the scorpion pit. The 20' radius hits the paladin on the other side of the trap, but his experience and his faith help him to keep his feet (he saved, and made his balance check).
Ingvar: Excellent, then I'll move out to the right side and try to hit the paladin with my trident. If possible, I'd like to sacrifice damage from my attack to give him a penalty on his balance check - I'm more trying to knock him down than anything else.
GM: I'll give him a -3 to his check if you hit, but you'll do only half damage.
Ingvar: Fair trade... and I hit!
GM: Yeah, it's too much for him. You pry him away from the wall and Tevar falls into the scorpion pit with his men.
Ingvar: Yes! One down, one to go!
GM: Next, you are backstabbed by Zargon the Assassin. He takes the same deal, half damage for a 3 point balance check penalty, so it's effectively only a 2x backstab. Roll your balance or be knocked into the pit.
Ingvar: What? Where'd he come from?
GM: See Invis doesn't work against Hide in Plain sight, plus he was already behind you when you used it. He spiderclimbed right over your head through the doorway. And now he knocked your ass in the pit unless you can roll a sixteen or higher.
Ingvar: [rolls] Crap. This was sooooo not part of the plan.
GM: Alright, so the Opal Paladin and Ingvar the Invulnerable are in a 20-foot deep pit, along with a half-dozen badly injured soldiers and an indeterminate number of permanently ravenous scorpions. The rest of the soldiers run around the corner with their bows ready, while the Resistance thugs push out the other loose block, and others crowd around the open doorway, firing their crossbows. The soldiers are better trained overall, but not necessarily in ranged combat, and the thugs have much better cover, so the bad guys score five hits, compared to only two hits by the good guys. Nobody drops, yet.
Baron: 'Shall we?'
Levinson: 'I think it is time.' I'll cast Hold Person on Zargon.
GM: Zargon saves, and immediately realizes the danger. 'Traitors!'
Baron: Hmm, he saved even with the +4 for a focused Hold spell?
GM: He sure did.
Baron: Then he'll probably come after us after I cast Cone of Cold across the entire battlefield. Everyone not in the pit can save against 36 damage.
Pyrov: Hey! Does that hit me too?
GM: You're inside the area, but you do get +4 to your save because it can only get you through the hole.
Pyrov: 'Arrg! You bastards! You iced me!'
GM: He also killed one of the soldiers who was shot, and the rest of them are badly hurt. Zargon took some damage, and the three thugs closest to the pit are slain. And we're back to Pyrov.
Pyrov: So there are dudes in the pit, dudes on the far side... including Baron and Levinson.
GM: And Ingvar and the paladin are also in the pit. Plus scorpions. Then there's the Assassin standing near the pit on your side.
Pyrov: Hmm, don't want to hit Ingvar... thinking about hitting Baron, that bastard.
Ingvar: Actually, hit me! Ingvar calls out 'Burn them all'
GM: Really? You're taking a chance there Ingvar; you are more damaged than Tevar, and the soldiers look to be too busy fighting off scorpions to focus on you.
Pyrov: Too late, I have permission! I'll drop a fireball right on the near corner of the pit, so the radius hits all the guys IN the pit, AND also gets the assassin. Eat 29 damage!
GM: Alright, that wipes out the soldiers and scorpions in the pit. Zargon saves but takes half damage, and he's starting to look pretty beat up. In the pit, Teral fails his save, and he's looking a little the worse for wear. Ingvar?
Ingvar: [rolls] Phew! I take no damage.
Baron: [raising an eyebrow] No damage?
Ingvar: Yes! I'll stab that paladin with my full attack routine. Miss... Hit... take 17.
GM: He takes it, but he's still standing. And he hits you back with a Smite Evil, take 24.
Ingvar: 24!
GM: I take it he's still looking a lot healthier than you are?
Ingvar: A little...
GM: Well, Zargon knows he's in trouble, under fire by casters from all sides, so he choses to go after the one who has cover from the other two.
Pyrov: The who in the what now?
GM: He's going after you, Pyrov. He uses Hide in Plain Sight, moves around the wall and hits you with a full 4x backstab. Take 28!
Pyrov: Ow! No fair!
Baron: No fair? You hit him for the same amount a minute ago.
Pyrov: Bah! We'd see how he'd like it if I picked up the Quad-damage.
GM: The remaining soldiers (the ones not in the pit) are confused. A few clue in and attack Baron and Levinson, while the rest keep firing towards the Resistance, though the remaining thugs have prettymuch taken cover. Baron, you're hit for 7, but they can't seem to overcome Levinson's glammered full plate.
Levinson: 'You dare strike at an Archdeacon? I am a conduit of my God, and my God says BOW DOWN!' I cast Holy Smite.
GM: You don't have Holy Smite, you have the evil version.
Levinson: My church is the Church of Holy Insight, and my spell is holy as far as I'm concerned.
GM: Be that as it may, D&D has these things called 'alignments'. You get your magic from Vecna, and Vecna is an evil god. Vecna grants the Evil domain, not the Good domain, and the spell you just cast is evil. Therefore it's not Holy Smite, it is in fact Unholy Blight.
Levinson: Your semantics fail to recognize the relativistic nature of religious...
GM: Look, your evil aura devastates the remaining soldiers, who all collapse with no apparent cause of death except a look of horror on their faces. The Paladin saves as usual, so he isn't sickened, but he still takes half damage.
Baron: Yes, I think we've all had enough of Tevar. He's slightly off center in the pit, correct?
GM: Yep, he's closer to the side opposite you where he was fighting Ingvar, forcing Ingvar back into the corner.
Baron: Then I'll walk up near the edge of the pit, making sure to align myself such that a line from me through the paladin is exactly perpendicular to walls of the pit. He's about six feet tall right?
GM: Well ya, he's like 6-foot 4-inches, but I don't...
Baron: Then I shall conjure a Lightning Bolt angled 15.5 degrees down from the horizontal, with the edge narrowly grazing the corner of the pit. Tevar can make three saving throws, and then...
GM: Point-five? The- there's no way you can hit him three times with the lightning bolt, just because you quote half-degree angles at me.
Baron: When the bolt strikes a surface, it reflects at an angle equal to the angle of incidence... do I need to draw you a diagram?
GM: Yes! If you think I'm going to let you hit this guy THREE TIMES with a Lightning Bolt, you'd better draw me a very convincing diagram.
Baron: Very well...
Pyrov: Aww, not the protractor. He's getting out the damned protractor again... just let him blow up the Paladin, you know he's going to be right.
GM: No, I don't know he's going to be right, and he's just going to pull more and more ridiculous stuff if I don't call his bluff!
Baron: The pit is specified as a cube with twenty-foot sides, but since I'm aligned to make the bolt perpendicular to the far side, we can adequately represent the situation with a mere square cross section. Now, as I draw the line at 15.5 degrees...
GM: ...point-five... your protractor can't even make that degree of precision.
Baron: That's why I need two different pen colors. The black pen lines will show guide-lines at 15 and 16 degrees for reference, and then I mathematically bisect the angle between them using the blue pen to show the actual line of the lightning... now, recalling that you specified the paladin to be over six feet tall, this narrow rectangle will represent his 'hit area'. Would you agree that to be fair placement of him, relative to this cross-section of the pit?
GM: Yes, but...
Baron: [after another minute of precise sketching] As you can see, after bouncing twice harmlessly at 15.5 degrees, the next line intersects his head. Then, hold on while I draw in the next bounce... it crosses his legs before striking the bottom of the pit here. Now it travels only a short distance to the near wall here... and as you can see, that angle is shallow enough that...
GM: [throwing up his hands] Alright, alright! He makes two saves and fails the third. He takes a ludicrous amount of damage, far more abusive than anything Lightning Bolt was ever supposed to do, and he crumples to the ground.
Levinson: Well done, Baron.
GM: It's not 'well done', it's ridiculous.
Baron: [spins his protractor on his finger for a second, then replaces it in his briefcase]
Pyrov: That BS happens all the time in Baldur's Gate. My rogue got gibbed by a Lightning trap...
Ingvar: Then your rogue probably should have disarmed the trap instead of testing it the hard way. Anyhow, Ingvar wades through the crackling ozone in the air, grabs a soldier, and throws his body up against the wall. And I start stacking...
Levinson: 'Mutilate the body of the Opal Guardian. Make sure his head is in no shape for Speak With Dead, but pummel all of him so they can't tell that was the intention.'
Ingvar: 'Ingvar grunts and sets to work on that, then resumes piling the bodies in order to climb out.'
GM: [sighs] Well, the remaining thugs try to attack Zargon, the wounded Assassin who is all that remains of the King's force. They can't even lay a hand on him, and one of them is badly hurt by an attack of opportunity.
Pyrov: I'll back into the corner and drop the world's shortest Wall of Fire, boxing me in so that he'd have to stand in it to melee me, and obviously the damaging side faces outwards.
GM: Well, he makes his save to avoid having the wall dropped right on top of him, but I think you've won there. He's outside the wall, and takes 2d4 fire, and he probably wouldn't survive moving into it to attack you next round. Of course, the remaining thugs take a little damage too. Ingvar will be at least another round piling and climbing the corpses in the pit, so you two are up.
Levinson: 'After you, Baron'
Baron: 'My pleasure.' I Magic Missile Zargon for 16.
GM: And he drops. You guys have done it, the tomb is yours.
Levinson: 'Don't loot anything, including the Opal Guardians.'
Pyrov: I cancel my wall. 'What? But we're almost to the esophagus!'
Baron: Sarcophagus. You know these words, don't act like a fool.
Levinson: 'It is critical that King Amamensis believe that we tried our best to defend the tomb, and that we succeeded despite the fall of Tevar and Zargon. We can come back and plunder it in a week or so, when it will be guarded, but the traps will not yet have been reset.'
Baron: 'The Archdeacon is correct. It must appear that the tomb has been saved from the Resistance, if we are to gain another audience with the King. And it is then that we shall strike.'
Ingvar: Alright, how tall can I get the pile of bodies?
GM: I'll be generous and say five feet, assuming there was some other crud in the pit that you could use.
Ingvar: And Ingvar is six-foot-eight... so I can reach about eight-and-a-half feet. That leaves about six feet I have to jump.
GM: Well, you're in full plate, but with your strength you can definitely do it. Just roll to see if you get it on the first try, for cool points.
Ingvar: YES! 'Ingvar's mask rises over the edge of the pit as he heaves himself up, then stands ominously, victorious.
Levinson: [whispers to Baron] 'They are so weak right now, it would be but a trifle to finish them. Too bad we need them for the battle to come.'
Baron: [whispering] 'It will take all our strength to overcome the remaining two Opal Guardians, in the palace, and the King has some magic of his own. So yes, you had best heal them.'
Levinson: 'Get back over here and I'll Cure Serious you.'
GM: Only six thugs are left of the Resistance, all at least a little wounded. Seeing the warrior emerge from the pit though, one is stirred to call out: 'You're a monster! You truly are Ingvar the Invulnerable. With you as our allies, the reign of Amamensis will soon be no more!'
Baron: 'Oh, are you still here?'
GM: His expression falls.
Ingvar: 'Do not worry, we will finish your work for you. I will paint my mask with the blood of a King...'
Levinson: 'Your sacrifice will not be in vain.'
Pyrov: 'FIREBALL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!'With no witnesses left, they mutilate the Assassin's body (again, to make certain divinations more difficult), and leave the tomb, all its treasures and even the loot from the battle all behind. Ingvar gives Levinson his spare faceplate, smeared with his own blood (before the Archdeacon healed him), and without healing Baron's wounds, the two nobles return to the King's court to tell their horrible tale, carefully wording their story to avoid outright lies wherever possible, and backed up with the monster's mask. Amamensis (sending some priests and more soldiers to check the aftermath and guard the open tomb) is angered by the deaths of two of his best men, but thanks the foreign Lords for destroying the Resistance once and for all, and for saving his father's tomb. Then they leave to regain spells.
Preparing to call it a night, each player conferences with GM to establish what his character is up to over the next week, because for an Evil campaign, they try to let time pass when not in session to give different sorts of plans a chance to work.
Levinson: Alright everyone, remember we're starting early next week because I need to pick up my daughter from the airport. She'll give me a call when she arrives, should be sometime around 7 pm. So try to be here by ten o'clock.
Pyrov: Aw man, I'll have to get up before nine...
Baron: Getting up early won't kill you. At least they are forcasting that large weather front next week to pass us by.
Levinson: A low pressure front wouldn't have much impact on airplanes this time of year anyway.
Baron: No, of course it wouldn't. See you later!";