var EXtitle = "AGC's Old Evil Campaign: Part 3 of 3" var ljpost = "235884"; var tablewidth = "300"; var text1 = "

This is NOT a 'Real D&D Excerpt', in fact unlike all the other ones, this is a decidedly UNREAL and totally FICTIONAL excerpt, covering some of the Old Evil Campaign from Another Gaming Comic. The characters are from a period in the history of AGC (the times before AGC #1), but following the conventions of my D&D Excerpts, they will all be refered to by the names of their in-game characters, except for the GM. Of course, if you've read AGC, you should have little trouble guessing who is who... Please note also that this game is played under the fictional '2.5 Edition' of D&D, which blends many properties of AD&D 2nd Edition with a little 3.0, and a lot of creative leeway.

After some (admittedly silly) debate about whether the action of Telekinetically knocking over the King's thrown and dumping him out of it constituted 'dethroning' God-King Amamensis for the purposes of satisfying the Geas laid upon the evil party by ancient chaos-god Naraxus, the players eventually conceeded that either way they were in the middle of a messy battle for the throneroom that they would have to finish. Also, it was generally acknowledged that seizing a palace - and a kingdom - would be a fairly decent reward for the regicide currently in progress.

GM: So that was Baron's turn with the TK. Since we're effectively on party initiative, I guess whoever wants to can go next.
Pyrov: I want! First I have to move out of the bug's 'aura of jaundice' or whatever, so I'll fly over the Blade Barrier and position myself above Ingvar over here.
GM: Justice. It's an Aura of Justice.
Pyrov: Then I cast Arcane Napalm again!
GM: Oh great. Well go ahead, draw your bursts while I get started on redrawing the whole map. It's nothing but a big smudge now anyway.
Barov: Miniatures are the way of the future. In a few years, everyone will be using them exclusively as the means of tracking RPG combat.
GM: [grumbles]
Pyrov: Eat 34 fire damage!
GM: Well, your spell pretty easily hits all enemy forces selectively. Which allies are you choosing to accidentally target this time?
Pyrov: Since when would I hit an ally with my perfect pinpoint targetting?
Baron: You incinerated my servant last round. In game-time, we're talking about roughly six seconds ago...
Pyrov: There's no way he counted as an ally. That's more like burning off a wart or something.
Baron: Well let me know if Pyrov grows any warts that need Disintegrating, and Baron Von Schtandholdt will be pleased to oblige.
Pyrov: Um, no thanks... anyhow, do they all die?
GM: No. Well, the crap guards do, they are toast. The beetle actually saves this time, and still has a lot of health left, though it is being worn down by the continuous barrage of AoE spells. Hammurash saves...
Pyrov: Who?
Ingvar: The weapon master.
GM: We've only said his name like twenty times. He saves, and so does Dallal, though the latter is looking a little the worse for wear. King Amamensis... actually, he fails his save and takes full damage.
Levinson: Wait, full damage before fire resistance? Or FULL damage?
GM: He doesn't resist any of the damage.
Pyrov: SWEET!
Baron: I knew it... the throne was not only boosting his saving throws in some significant fashion, but it was also the source of his Fire Resistance.
Pyrov: 'Burn baby burn! HAHAHAHA!' Hmm, note to self: burn some babies.
Levinson: I'm going to have my Dominated guard position himself so that the beetle is directly between him and the good guys, then start hitting the stupid bug. Might as well do something to pull his weight...
GM: Well, he is Hasted, and with Prayer and Bless... he hits two out of three attacks, and deals a decent amount of damage to the summoned monster.
Levinson: Hmm, I forgot how many group buffs we tossed on him, good show. Now what will I do... it sounds like reinforcements might break through the door that I stoneshaped any round now. I'm not sure they're going to matter though...
Baron: At this stage of the fight, we just need to finish off the mage and the house of cards will collapse before us.
Pyrov: I love the evil campaign!
Levinson: Your point?
Pyrov: I can suggest burning babies and nobody complains!
Levinson: We were just ignoring you.
Baron: There will be a time for infant incineration, but for now we are preoccupied with winning.
Ingvar: Hehe."; var table1 = "Levinson: Enough with the little boy stuff, the adults have work to do. I'll circle around the Blade Barrier to stand next to Baron, and I'll Holy Smite the area where Ingvar is fighting the royals, hitting the bug if possible.
GM: Okay, so your Unholy Blight...
Levinson: Holy Smite.
GM: It's Unholy Blight. Good equals Holy, Evil equals Unholy. And yes, whatever you may WANT to call it, your spell still sickens instead of blinding victims.
Levinson: Sicken for one round does nothing, Vecna demands that I blind those bastards instead.
GM: Well, the RULES say your spell sickens. The spell that blinds damages evil targets, like your buddy Ingvar, and would inflict no damage on your enemies. So if you want to follow the actual rules, and not some fudgey made-up crap, sickened is what they get for failing their saves.
Levinson: Fine, fine. As long as it kills them I don't care what ailment disables their corpses for one round. Take 26.
GM: Dallal fails his save, so between that and Pyrov's secondary napalm damage, you've eaten away the whole Cure spell from last round. The King and the Weapon Master both save though, so they take only 13 and aren't sickened.
Levinson: Somebody finish the mage! There's probably blood trickling from his eyes at this point!
Ingvar: I would appreciate somebody killing him before he can Eyebite me again AND cast another spell, and I can't kill him in one round through the bloody Stoneskin...
GM: Well you've all gone, so tough. King Amamensis sends the Silver Scarab after Baron.
Baron: Yes, well, its success is limited by the fact that Levinson stands with me, as I had hoped when I moved here, and his Protection from Good 10' radius hedges out your summoned beast.
GM: Well damn. I guess it bumps into your zone and stops in its tracks, rearing up fearsomely."; var table2 = "GM gains the advantage in this otherwise intractible debate by hitting on one of Levinson's buttons, namely his belief in gaming according to the rules. This is less about Ingvar and Baron's rules-layer interpretations and more simply that the rules set standards for everyone that must be followed. Levinson feels that it's essential that all players play by the same rules, and that all NPCs must abide by those same rules (except for the other by-the-book rules governing Challenge Ratings, reaction modifiers etc.)"; var text2 = "Levinson: It's not so scary from where I stand.
GM: Then the King will climb over his toppled throne to cast Cure Serious on Dallal, which is more than enough to counter the secondary napalm damage. Now that Dallal isn't as worried about burning to death, he will turn his gaze upward and attempt to Fear Pyrov with his Eyebite.
Pyrov: YES! I save! You'd better STAY worried about burning to death, ***hole!
GM: Then, since that was a free action, he will Cone of Cold Baron and Levinson. Take 42.
Levinson: What? That kind of behavior cannot be tolerated... take him down!
GM: Did you save?
Levinson: No, dammit.
Baron: Yes.
GM: Well you guys were at full health, so you can't be hurting too badly. Next, Hammurash the Weapon Master attacks Ingvar twice.
Ingvar: I only had one charge left on my Stoneskin, so roll for the second attack.
GM: Nope, he managed to miss. Your AC is not insignificant, especially after the Invulnerability potion.
Ingvar: Invulnerability is my middle name. Actually, I suppose it's my last name. My middle name is 'the'.
Pyrov: Ooh! Describe how he missed.
GM: No.
Pyrov: Aww, you said you'd describe all his moves after the Stoneskin was gone!
GM: [sighs] Anyway, you guys are up again, but I should note that the door Levinson closed off with Stoneshape is visibly cracking from attacks on the other side.
Levinson: I don't care about them, 'KILL THE MAGE!'
Pyrov: Then I will cast... hmm, what shall I cast, I need the best spell possible to murder him with, I guess that can only mean... FIREBALL!
Baron: So a spell LESS effective than the Arcane Napalm of which you've no doubt retained a third memorization...
Pyrov: Whatever. Now if I fireball this spot [indicates in light pencil on GM's newly redrawn battlemap], I can hit mage-boy and King-boy, without toasting Ingvar.
Baron: Whereas casting Arcane Napalm again, in addition to dealing more damage on the following round, would be able to hit Hammurash and the bug as well at no risk to your allies.
Pyrov: Eat 35!
GM: Both of them save this time, but half damage is still too much for Dallal, who drops.
Pyrov: YES! I rock!
Ingvar: Well that should make things easier going forward. I'll quad-stab Hammurash again.
GM: This round his AC is only -2.
Ingvar: And... I rolled a one, somehow, so once again, I hit three out of four attacks. 23, 17, 19 damage, respectively.
GM: The Weapon Master's stance this round traded some of his AC for a chance to use his half-damage parry against each of your attacks. He does have to roll-off against your Thac0 though... and he succeeds twice, so only the last hit does full damage to him. On the plus side for you, no more of those quick-jab counterattacks this round.
Ingvar: Whee. I'm out of Stoneskin anyway, so the few measly points of damage wouldn't matter much.
Levinson: I'm going to Cure Critical myself.
Baron: Noble endeaver though that may be, it doesn't stop the reinforcements, who at this point must be half the palace guard.
Levinson: Well I can't risk dying in a freak accident.
Baron: Apparently if falls to me. I'll drop a Wall of Stone on the back door, much as I have on the main door of the throneroom. 3x3 squares, using any extra material to pile on top. There have been no signs of them breaching the front door, have they?
GM: No, I would have mentioned. It's a pretty huge obstacle. And that's all of you, so it's the good guys' turn for the few who remain. First thing, the huge Scarab fades away, unsummoned as Amamensis activates a different royal innate power...
Levinson: Oh come on, between him and the Weapon Master they have a whole volume full of custom GM-made abilities, and yet I can't trade my Blight for Smite.
GM: [ignoring Levinson's criticism] He creates an Antimagic Shell.
Ingvar: GAH!
Baron: That's ludicrous! His custom royal innate freak-power had better have a different duration than the PHB version of the spell.
GM: I guess we'll find out, won't we. Anyhow, Hammurash switches back to his original stance...
Ingvar: With the -6 AC again...
GM: And he slides over, scooping up the king in one powerful arm, and begins sprinting off towards this corner of the room [points out one of the back pillars of the throneroom on the graph-paper diagram]. As they pass through the Blade Barrier, a 20-foot wide section of the wall disappears, then reappears as they move away.
Baron: Dragging the Antimagic Shell along with them. Attack of opportunity, Ingvar?
Ingvar: I missed...
Baron: Pity. I suspect they are both about two-hits from death, if you can just get through the silly spear-tricks.
GM: So what are you guys going to do?
Pyrov: I could fireball them...
Baron: Antimagic shell.
Pyrov: Then... no wait, what gets rid of Antimagic shell?
Levinson: Nothing! There's actually no way to get rid of it, nor can we affect them inside it.
Pyrov: Summoned junk?
Ingvar: They disappear as soon as they enter the area, and come back when it moves away from them.
Pyrov: Levinson's Dominate soldier?
Levinson: The Dominate would be temporarily suppressed, so he would regain his free will as soon as he entered the bubble, but he'd be mine again as soon as he left the Antimagic Shell.
Baron: Presumably it could be removed via a Wish or Miracle. If anyone has any artifacts, they would be unaffected by it. No Pyrov, unless you wish to take them down in physical melee, I'm afraid we're reliant on Ingvar to finish the job.
Ingvar: [looking very unsettled] I can't fight them in that thing!
Levinson: They're both nearly dead and you're at full health, what's the problem? The King can't use any magic unless he drops the field.
Ingvar: Guys, I can't take that Weapon Master without magic.
Levinson: Your equipment won't work in there, but neither will his fancy spear.
Ingvar: I can't handle it without my buffs...
Pyrov: We could buff you more.
Baron: Which would be incredibly pointless since they are all surpressed by the King's zone.
Levinson: What happened to 'Ingvar the Invulnerable', 'Nobody lives to tell the tale', and all your macho aggressive crap?
Baron: Oh come on people, do I have to spell it out for the rest of you?
Levinson: What?

Baron: Ingvar's spectacular toughness is clearly due to having dumped all of his good ability scores into Con and Dex, while neglecting his strength and instead using his old standby (some would say 'crutch') the Gauntlets of Ogre Power with their fixed 18/00 strength score supplanting his feeble natural number. Thus, entering the Antimagic Shell and losing his buffs and magic gear would leave him little more potent than any of our dedicated casters. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if his innate Str would leave him encumbered by his own armor. Am I close to the mark?
Ingvar: [glares at Baron]
Baron: Well, really. You had some initial secrecy value, but the evidence has mounted to the point that it's silly not to recognize the problem. At least I didn't 'out' your character's race to the only one of us who could possibly have NOT figured it out by this point...
Pyrov: What race? Icelandic? Transylvanian?
Ingvar: The important thing is, as long as they have that Antimagic Shell, I don't have the ability to get past Hammurash and his many monster-created-by-the-GM skills anymore than you have the ability to blow them out of the water with evocations.

Although Ingvar steadfastly refused to use his Drow spell-like abilities to Levitate out of the scorpion pit when fighting desperately against the Opal Paladin, as the adventure continued there have been too many times when he 'took no damage' from a save-for-half spell, failed 'something' yet was still able to save against an effect (like the Eyebite-Fear), or most spectacularly negated the Chain-Lightning despite the fact (which came up shortly thereafter) that the spell DOES continue after going through an Electricity Immune target. Dark Elf heritage is not the only possible explanation for his very powerful Magic Resistance... but it's by far the most likely one.

Baron: On the bright side, you can still intimidate them, between your grimly impassive armor, your fearsome reputation and the fact that you've been holding your own quite easily against the spear-master until now.
Ingvar: I suppose I'll follow them across the room, stopping just ten-feet short of the stupid bubble. IF Levinson will cancel his wall first.
Levinson: Yes, yes, I cancel the Blade Barrier. Fat lot of good it does with them just bubbling through it. And I'll move my pawn over there as well. He can throw a javelin at the King.
GM: He misses, though Amamensis' look of shock probably makes it all worthwhile for you.
Ingvar: Then I'll hurl three daggers at the King. Hit AC -8, -3 and -4. Wait, scratch that... all those rolls are one point worse because the daggers cease to be magical before reaching the target.
GM: One hits, but Hammurash deflects the other two with his spear haft.
Ingvar: I'm starting to hate that guy.
Baron: For my part, I'll use a scroll of Wall of Force to drop a hemispherical barrier in the corner of the room they were headed to, blocking access to any secret doors or other escape routes they may have in the area.
Pyrov: Um, duh... that's a wall of magic. Their stupid bubble will just erase it like all the other stuff.
Ingvar: Actually, Wall of Force specifies that it is immune to all but a few specified spells (like Disintegrate), and the description of Antimagic Shell reinforces that it cannot suppress a Wall of Force. So assuming he's walling off the right area, Baron really can block them with it.
Pyrov: How did I end up gaming with a group of ALL know-it-alls?
Baron: Just fortunate, I suppose. Either that, or it's a relativistic impression.
Pyrov: What?
Levinson: He's implying that our knowledge only seems so expansive relative to your own.
Pyrov: Oh. Well then screw you Baron.
Baron: Objection noted.
GM: Do you have a real action Levinson, other than just dismissing your wall and commanding your thrall?
Levinson: I guess I'll move over behind the soldier and Ingvar, our big burly scaredypants, and I'll ready myself to counterspell if Amamensis drops his bubble to cast.
GM: With their escape cut off, Hammurash sets the King down, and they turn to face you. [King Amamensis] 'We are not yet finished, but let it be known; even if you prevail against us, your vile treachery will never be tolerated, nor rewarded. My kingdom will rise against you like a tsunami...'
Baron: 'A Tsunami of Justice, no doubt. You know, we didn't even want your kingdom, or your head. It was Naraxus who gave us no choice.'
Levinson: 'But given all the work we've put in, Tavaris will be a reasonable reward for our time.'
Ingvar: 'Drop your tricks and face me, Weapon Master.'
GM: The King nods to Hammurash, and with a grim sadness in his eyes, he charges out of the Antimagic Shell towards Ingvar. The instant he passes through the invisible border of the zone, the dull red gem of his speartip bursts into flaming brightness, his armor gleams, and he charges you with a desperate ferocity.
Pyrov: Go, pointy stick, go!
GM: [ignoring him] His first attack ignores the non-magical portion of your Armor bonus to AC, so with that 9-point difference, he hits. Take 28 damage from his double-damage charge attack.
Ingvar: Spicy.
GM: Then, he gets his second attack, as he twirls his spear over his head and brings it down towards your armor's shoulder-joint. This one does not ignore any AC, but if it hits it deals triple damage...
Levinson: I tell you, these two dinks need their own freakin' rulebook. It's ridiculous.
GM: ...and he misses, as Ingvar shifts position quickly, causing the piercing gem-tip to strike only his heavily armored shoulder-plate.
Ingvar: That's the last chance he's going to get.
GM: Then, Amamensis does several things. First, he drops the Antimagic Shell and tries to cast a spell.
Levinson: Which at least three of us instantly identify because he have enough spellcraft to turn a spell inside-out.
GM: He cast Whispering Wind.
Levinson: THE HELL HE DOES! I counterspell the CRAP out of that!
Pyrov: You're countering a sissy wind spell? It can't hurt us...
Baron: If he warns a neighboring ruler, a good-aligned dragon, or some other obnoxious threat, it could come back to haunt us far more than any damage or debuff he could put on us. Well done, Levinson.
Levinson: Thank you, now kill him, would you?
GM: He isn't done yet. Amamensis triggers one last innate ability...
Levinson: Oh for crap's sakes, can you not fight using the damned PHB?
GM: Well, it's based on a spell in the PHB... Amamensis' spell-like ability Hastes him...
Pyrov: Pfft, he's near dead anyway...
GM: And gives him Tenser's Transformation. He doubles his remaining HP, his AC improves by 4 and he gains fighter attacks. With which he charges Levinson.
Levinson: You hulking cheese-ball, I'm behind Ingvar AND my dominated soldier!
GM: Amamensis is pissed, and he barrels through between them, because it's you and Baron he really wants (and Baron's still too far away). They can take opportunity attacks though.
Ingvar: Lucky bastard, I missed somehow.
GM: The guard also misses, due to the 4 point AC bonus. So Amamensis, now twice his normal size, bulging with muscles and righteous anger, transformed and hasted, stabs you four times with his large emerald serpent-shaped dagger.
Levinson: You don't actually mean he hits four times.
GM: He sure does.
Levinson: As if... well that eats my two remaining Stoneskin charges, how much do his last two attacks do?
GM: Take 17 and 19, and make two saves VS poison.
Levinson: POISON?
GM: It's a poison save.
Levinson: He's Captain Goody-goody with his team of freakin' Paladins! Paladin-Mage...
Ingvar: Paladin-Assassin...
Baron: Paladin-Fighter...
Levinson: ...freakin' Paladin-Paladin!
GM: The magical poisoning snake-dagger is a remnant from King Azaramensis. He was something of a black sheep, but still an ancestor. Do you save?
Pyrov: Man, how many of these mental-pharaoh names did you make up?
GM: A few...
Levinson: I save against one, but not the second.
GM: You're blinded.
Levinson: Oh for crap's sake, 'Somebody rip out his heart and put it in my hand so I know that he's dead!'
Ingvar: Is he done yet?
GM: Yes, he's done.
Ingvar: What's Hammurash's AC at this round?
GM: In his current stance, it's -4.
Ingvar: 'Your time is at an end!' I hit him for 16, 20, 19...
GM: And he drops.
Ingvar: What, no parries, no counters, no new made-up powers?
GM: Not in his charging stance, he's gone.
Ingvar: 'INVULNERABLE!'
Pyrov: Ooh, describe how he falls!
GM: No.
Baron: 'This audience is over. We will be excusing ourselves now, your highness.' I will Magic Missile King Amamensis, take 18 damage.
GM: Ow, he can't take much more of that.
Baron: 'Pyrov, I suggest you finish him just like that.'
Pyrov: Fine, but I use Fire Missile! Take 16!
GM: The first missile takes off the last of his temporary HP from the transformation, and any damage dealt to his real hit points while the spell remains are doubled. He goes down in flames.
Pyrov: YES! I KILLED HIM!
Ingvar: I'll retrieve one of my throwing daggers and get Levinson his momento.
Levinson: When I feel the still-pulsing mass dripping over my fingers, I grin and offer a silent prayer to the Lord of Secrets. Then I'll drop it on the ground and crush it under my boot.
Baron: 'What, have you no rituals that use a King's heart as a component?'
Levinson: 'I like him better under my heal.' I command the Dominated soldier to prop me up and guide me around for now, since I'm FREAKIN' BLINDED.
Baron: 'Quickly', I ask the soldier, 'Where is the King's family?'
GM: He doesn't answer, glaring at you.
Levinson: 'Answer him'
GM: So commanded, he has no choice. 'His wives and children are in the East wing.'
Baron: They were headed for the eastern corner of the Throneroom. I'll dismiss my Wall of Force.
Pyrov: You could ask the guard to show you the secret door...
Levinson: If he knew about it, I would have told you all before we came in here.
GM: I should note that it sounds like they are close to breaking through the first Wall of Stone: the one by the front door.
Ingvar: We don't have any good way to find secret doors, do we?
Baron: Probably not at this moment. Pyrov, fly up through the high window there, find a window to a clear room in the East Wing, and give me the distance and direction.
Pyrov: Fine, fine. I'll do that thing he said...
GM: I'll believe that if you can paraphrase what he told you.
Pyrov: Umm...
Baron: Here's a hint, it's time to burn down the orphanage.
GM: They aren't orphans...
Baron: They will be briefly.
Pyrov: Seriously?
Baron: Seriously.
Pyrov: Okay, I'm flying out there to find a place with no guards for all the non-flying losers to port into.
GM: Alright, that's not difficult, you find a window that leads to a hallway.
Baron: If it's in range, I'll Dimension Door the rest of us, once we finish looting the King and the last Opal Guardians.
GM: Alright, we can divvy that up after, I guess. You appear in a hallway in the East Wing.
Baron: 'Room by room search, clear them all.'
Ingvar: 'Trifling. I will clear any remaining guards myself.'
Baron: 'I'm mean clear ALL that you find. Leave no heirs intact.'
Ingvar: [Displeased, at least in-character] 'I am Ingvar the Invulnerable. I destroy warriors and kings, not women and children.'
Levinson: 'Then find some guards and amuse yourself. We have other business.'
Ingvar: ...
Pyrov: 'Don't worry, I got it covered!' Let's burn some babies!
GM: If that's what you guys really want to do...
Baron: We fought for this kingdom, we'd be fools not to secure our new regime.
GM: Well, there are three rooms that are occupied. One has a trio of lower-ranking wives, one has the King's second wife and two children, and the third has his First Wife and their newborn son.
Baron: 'Pyrov? Entertain yourself. I'll stay in the hall... I'd rather not sully my hands.'
Pyrov: 'The pleasure's all mine!'
GM: [catching a subtle signal from Baron] You guys could still be in danger, but since you're all splitting up somewhat, let's exchange some notes just in case anybody has any other actions.'
Pyrov: Take all the stupid secret actions you want, but I'm fireballing the first room and I'll handle the others with burning hands. It's kindof Pyrov's signature. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
GM: Right... anyways...

Although Baron had stated he ws remaining in the hall, after the fireball went off he slipped into the lower-ranking wives' chamber after Pyrov and cast a spell. And so GM's note to Pyrov explained that Levinson's Dominate spell had been 'stolen' by Baron. Pyrov was disappointed to learn, however, that Baron's first command was to 'Do whatever Levinson commands, unless I am disabled in his presence, in which case kill him.' So Levinson would have no idea that he no longer had final control of the hobgoblin's actions.

Pyrov's feelings were mixed (he was still pissed about the mind control, though the prospect of eventual revenge on Levinson held some appeal). For now, he buried himself in his work, moving on to the second room and committing horrible fire-based atrocities. He then moved on to the third room, with Baron overseeing from the hall.

GM: Lamania, First Wife to the late King Amamensis, stands between you and the gilded crib: 'Please, spare my son! He is only a newborn!'
Pyrov: 'Newly born, newly dead, lady.' I'll slap her aside and light up my...'
GM: As she falls to the ground, crying out, and you look down on her son - only a few weeks old - you raise your hand, surrounding it with arcane flames... and you are frozen in place. Baron, Levinson, even Ingvar who is forty feet away beating down a handful of guards - you are all frozen where you stand.
Pyrov: What the?
GM: [in his deepest, resonating voice] 'YOU HAVE DONE WELL, DESECRATORS.'
Levinson: That bastard Naraxus! We did as he asked!
GM: 'KING AMAMENSIS HAS BEEN DETHRONED, AND TAVARIS WILL ENTER A NEW AGE.' The voice is coming from the baby: 'LEAVE NOW, AND DO NOT SHOW YOUR FACES IN MY KINGDOM AGAIN IF YOU VALUE YOUR SOULS.' Then you are all unfrozen. The mother rises and drapes herself over the crib as though to shield him. She doesn't look like she heard the voice of the Chaos God.
Pyrov: I take it trying to burn him now would be a bad idea then?
Baron: He's taking the Kingdom for himself? I should have seen this coming... He didn't want to replace law and order (and religious freedom) with our tyranny, he wants to turn the whole nation into a Chaos theocracy, and stole the soul of the King's new son - probably the very same day as he cursed us.
Ingvar: Oh my god - he's gone Ghostbusters 2 on our asses!
Levinson: 'As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods. They kill us for their sport.'
Baron: Really. From Bill Murray to William Shakespeare... Let's get out of the palace and regroup before the culture gap swallows us whole.
GM: Exeunt.

Fighting their way out of the palace was not all that difficult, since the guards had no real leadership and no great heroes to lead them. The villains found a new safe house, assuming that Baron's house would be raided, and they proceeded to divide up the loot from the royal court. While that was going on (the King had a magic amulet which became fairly contentious, amongst the villainous party), GM informed Levinson in a note that Pyrov was starting to fight off the Dominate, but that he was still following commands which were issued verbally (no longer appearing to hear his mental commands). The Archdeacon was not certain what to make of this, but prudently decided to keep Pyrov close at all times so as not to lose him.

Levinson: Whatever... anyway, Naraxus is a dick, but otherwise that was a pretty successful day's roleplaying. We should wrap it up now, so I can...
Baron: It's not quite six-o'clock yet, we have at least another hour. What are the chances of your daughter's airline being early?
Ingvar: Pfft, never happen. You'll be lucky if she calls at seven.
Levinson: [clearly preferring to finish early, rather than pushing the time limit] Just before she boarded she said everything was running on-time.
GM: What ever happened with that storm anyway? Would that slow things down?
Baron: Modern aircraft can easily fly above or around storm fronts. Even if they fly through them, their engines have far more power than is strictly required by safety standards - normal weather usually has little impact other than takeoffs and landings.
Pyrov: Unless they get struck by lightning, or the wings ice up.
Baron: Now now, there's no need to be all negative. The odds of such an occurrence are insignificant. I'm sure we'll get a call right around seven, and we can break for the week as planned.
Ingvar: Well, since we have at least an hour, I'd love to clear out that tomb before we leave Tavaris. How much you want to be that some or all of the guards get pulled away, considering what we just did at the palace.
Levinson: I don't know...
Pyrov: I say let's keep going.
Baron: I think we can still get a thing or two done. Let's take a day to lay low and recouperate, then we'll reenter the tomb a noon the following day, agreed?
Ingvar: Agreed.
Pyrov: Booyah!
Levinson: Alright, alright. I'll round up my followers so they can 'locate traps' for us. There's no sense maintaining a temple in this area if the whole kingdom's going over to Naraxus' religion anyway.

There were a few minutes of serious note-passing. Ingvar finished gathering the items he wanted from last session's off-table actions, and Levinson memorized Remove Blindness to fix his eyes. He also had Pyrov stay to guard him, and sent some of his followers shadow Invgar and Baron just to make sure. Wisely, it turned out, because those two had apparently decided to clear the tomb together a day early.

It was difficult to hide that something major was going on, and though there was virtually no talking for over half-an-hour, everyone was writing feverishly and exchanging notes with GM (whose responses became ever more terse as he fended off a barrage of notes from three directions, while passing the occasional 'dummy' note to Pyrov, who was not as interested in the intrigue, at least until his two 'masters' would collide.

Levinson did not learn right away that Ingvar and Baron had plotted to steal the treasure, and by the time his men reported to him, there was little time to gather his followers. Now, under ordinary circumstances, Levinson is nearly as calculating as Baron, and would have used a couple hours of game time to muster as many followers as possible, let the others clear the tomb and any traps, and mug them violently on the way out just before they would reach the tomb entrance. Perhaps he was distracted thinking about his daughter's flight, but for whatever reason, Levinson simply grabbed his thralls (Pyrov and the soldier) and four guards from his temple and set out immediately for the pyramid to follow the others in and confront them.

As seven o'clock came and went, the furious scribbling action did not abate, and for a time, even Levinson was distracted by the strain of trying to figure out what the others were doing.

Levinson: Pyrov! Quit rolling and rerolling those damned dice!
Pyrov: Well this part is boring. Are we there yet?
Ingvar: Where is 'there'?
Levinson: Tell him nothing! Don't fall for his seductive chatter, he's trying to gather information!
Pyrov: Boy, if he's looking for information from me he has come to the wronnnnnng place. I don't even know where we are.
Ingvar: Oh, so you two are together, huh?
Levinson: Stop talking to him already! And Ingvar...
Ingvar: Yes?
Levinson: Stop with the cheating social hacks or I'll shove this dice tube up your portable hole!
Ingvar: Okay, okay, though if asking your teammate a question counts as a 'social hack', some may doubt the wisdom of your partnership.
Pyrov: Nobody's teaming with nobody over here... trust me.

Still, around 7:40 when the two groups were about to meet up within the tomb, Levinson was spending more time looking at the dining room clock than skimming the constant stream of notes. By this point, both parties were alerted to each other's presence nearby. Baron and Ingvar had taken some damage and expended some magic resources to clear the final chamber of the tomb, and most of their treasure was unidentified, and thus mostly useless, but they were still ready and rearing for a fight. And so it was that Baron cast Invisibility 10' radius to cover himself and Ingvar, whilst Levinson commanded Pyrov to Invis them both individually, so that only the soldier and four guards. The real encounter started in the third last room of the tomb, a chamber with a high vaulted ceiling and strange window-shaped alcoves near the top (though what purpose they could serve, located right in the middle of the pyramid, was a mystery).

GM: [Levinson's dominated Soldier] 'Be on your guard. They must be in the final chamber.' On his orders, the four followers of the Church of Holy Insight advance across the cathedral chamber to the entrance of the inner sanctum.
Ingvar: I'll break Invis right beside them, step up and spear each of them with my trident. Take 14, 20, 17 and 15, respectively.
GM: The one you hit for 17 drops, the rest of them seem to have been much tougher, but that still hurt them pretty bad.
Pyrov: Oh ya? Then I break Invis and FIREBALL him! Eat 32!
Levinson: You idiot...
Ingvar: Wow, I don't believe it, I fail my save and I actually take damage from it.
Pyrov: 'HAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT!'
Ingvar: Fortunately, I have ten points of Fire Resistance at the moment, so I only take 22.
GM: ...and... all three of Levinson's men die.
Pyrov: Meh.
Ingvar: 'What makes you side against me, Faceburner?'
Pyrov: 'Frankly, I didn't get to choose...'
GM: [After a moment] Is anybody else acting?
Baron: I don't know, are you?
Levinson: After you, mage-boy.
GM: Oh come on, you're both know each other must be around, you're both invisible... somebody has to go first. Just roll initiative...
Baron: I got a 7...
Levinson: I bet I can get worse than that... come on, roll bad... [shakes the die an inordinately long time]
Baron: [Waggling his fingers annoyingly in the air] I curse you with good initiative! You are now doomed to go first.
Levinson: Come on... [rolls] ... goddammit! Fine, I'll just hold my action.
GM: No you won't, I have to put my foot down here. Somebody has to go first, and that's what we were rolling for. Since he would also choose to hold his action, I'm holding you to your initiative.
Baron: If you are afraid to reveal yourself, you can always choose not to act at all and actually lose your turn.
Levinson: Screw you, Baron. Alright, I'll move forward and cast a spell.
Baron: I must repeat your own mantra back to you, Levinson, I have enough spellcraft to identify any energies you can muster. Just name your spell.
Levinson: I cast Sticks to Snakes, centered on Ingvar.
Ingvar: I don't see any sticks around.
GM: Actually, a dozen vipers slither out of the sleeves and pant legs of the corpses surrounding Ingvar, and begin hissing and biting at the masked warrior's legs.
Ingvar: I'm pretty sure those snakes have a double-digit Thac0, so knock yourself out trying to hit there.
Levinson: That's why they have Prayer, Bless and Emotion:Hope giving them a total +4 to hit.
Ingvar: You can't have 3 rounds worth of buffs on them, you just just summoned them!
Levinson: The sticks were all present on my men when I cast all those AoE buffs, including the Emotion scroll.
Baron: They weren't living creatures at the time those spells were cast; clearly they would not have been targeted.
Levinson: Undead creatures are valid buff targets, and they aren't alive. And Steele ruled in your favor in the Medhaven Debacle, when he decided that the Haste spell on the vampire-hunters when they died would still apply when after you raised them with Animate Dead.
Baron: That's a specious precedent; the undead-hunters were creatures when Haste was cast and they were still creatures after they were raised. The sticks were never creatures until you transmuted them.
Levinson: They were living things and targets when they were alive, a stick is no more than part of a plant's corpse, and just as the dead-men underwent a state change when animated into undead, so did the sticks undergo a state change when transmuted into snakes.
Baron: That comparison isn't valid at all in relation to the present circumstances! Nobody cast Haste on the bodies while they were dead.
GM: I did rule that Animal Growth was not valid because they don't qualify at all in the plant/stick state.
Levinson: Medhaven proved that in out metagame rulescape buffs continue to exist on targets when they are dead, a state in which they have no stats and the buffs have no current effect, and that as long as duration remains, those same spell effects can apply bonuses as soon as a state change provides valid stats to buff.
GM: It doesn't matter guys, I already allowed the buffs in the note-passing phase, I can't retract it now. We can debate this before the next session if necessary, but we're already running late tonight and I'm not sure we'll have time to finish this...
Baron: So Levinson gets to sway you with indefensible arguments with no opportunity for rebuttal?

Levinson did not reply this time. At the mention of the time, he was back to staring at the clock, and clearly zoned out for a few moments wondering why his daughter was almost an hour late in calling.

Baron: [Sounding quite genuine, despite the golf-clap] Well, bravo. I must applaud your use of the metagame to manipulate GM on this. Overall, a clever and unexpected trick, but far from a game-winner; you'd better have more up your sleeve if you want to win.
Levinson: I wonder where the hell she is... she's normally exceptionally punctual.
Baron: An hour isn't all that late for a flight these days, it's no cause for concern, and clearly not subject to her personal punctuality trait. You should be more worried about Archdeacon Levinson's survival. Your snake-trick devours all the charges from Ingvar's Stoneskin, but now that you're revealed, I'll position myself a few feet back from him and angle a Cone of Cold (starting near the ground at an angle) to hit your entire party, plus blow away a bunch of your snake-sticks.
GM: They are surrounding Ingvar pretty well, not to mention squirming around, but you can catch... [rolls a die] ...five of them, all of which die instantly, reverting to cracked and frozen twigs. And of course, all of you have burnt off your Invisibility now.
Pyrov: DAMN YOU, COLD DAMAGE!
Baron: To be precise, 45 cold damage, save for half.
Pyrov: AAARGH! Oh, phew... saved...
GM: Levinson?
Levinson: [Caught not paying attention] What?
GM: Roll a save against Baron's Cone of Cold.
Levinson: Passed. 'We could have shared this trifling treasure, but by betraying me you've forfeited your pathetic lives.'
Ingvar: I'll charge Levinson...
Levinson: Speaking of pathetic, say hello to Anti-animal Shell.
Ingvar: Wow, you are really breaking out the cheese-scrolls today.
Levinson: You know what 'cheese' translates to? It translates to 'I should have played a spellcaster, wah-wah-wah'.
Ingvar: Well since the spell isn't clear on what happens when an excluded creature runs up against it (and is totally hosed with no save whatsoever), I guess I'll just have to chuck a couple daggers at you. 'Hey, remember this?' Eat emerald snake dagger...
Levinson: You little bastard... okay, I saved this time.
Ingvar: Aww, not blinded by the poison? That's okay, eat this +2 one.
Levinson: I take some damage, whatever.
Ingvar: 'Now, enjoy this mysterious offering from the tomb. May it grant you as much fortune as the dead-guy whose sarcophagus it came from.'
GM: Actually, with that roll it misses.
Ingvar: 'Aww, so much for the old warrior identify. We'll have to take it off your corpse and have Baron cast Identify the hard way.'
Levinson: 'That would be difficult, since not only will you fail to kill me, but since you missed, the dagger wouldn't be on my body anyway.'
Pyrov: Is it my turn again yet?
Baron: Yes, but I call out: 'Destroy Levinson!'
Pyrov: Sweet! I cast Dispel Magic on the stupid mind-control.
Baron: [taken aback] Pardon?
Pyrov: 'Oh, I'm sorry, was I supposed to follow your orders? Because you ordered me to obey Levinson's commands, and see, Levinson commanded me to Dispel the Dominate if you told me to harm him in any way.'
Levinson: 'Did you think I could fail to realize that something was wrong when my thrall stopped obeying mental commands? Obviously the connection was severed. I don't know exactly what you did, but...'
Baron: 'But you used command operand precedence; in a case of multiple mind-control the most recent command wins out, and you figured out my order from the fact that he was still seemingly obeying you. Well played.' You still have to roll for the dispel though...
Pyrov: Oh ya? [rolls] Take THAT!
Baron: Failed.
Pyrov: What? No it didn't... I hit the target number, that's a pass.
GM: I'm afraid Baron's caster level was higher than you think when that spell was cast.
Pyrov: As if!
Baron: Your thrall has wasted his action, anything else?
Levinson: First, my snakes will swarm all over you, shredding your Stoneskin...
Baron: Naturally.
Levinson: Then I'll have soldier charge you.
Baron: I'm afraid that due to the number of snakes I killed, I still have a charge to stop pawn #2.
Levinson: How fortunate for you. Next I'll cast Hold Person on Baron.
Baron: Fortunately my Cloak of Resistance and Protection from Evil allow me to save.
Levinson: Stupid wizards being able to cast opposite-alignment spells...
Baron: I would think it was the priest who were too stupid to learn their enemies' arts. 'Are you done?'
Levinson: 'I'm just getting started!' But yes, I'm done my turn.
Baron: Well if Ingvar will hold initiative for a moment...
Levinson: After you, partner...
Baron: I will unleash a Spell Sequencer upon you.
Levinson: [Incensed now] GM! You wouldn't let me by a scroll of Creeping Doom, but you let him whip out the freakin' Baldur's Gate spells?
GM: He spent a lot of time with good research bonuses trying to attain that, I limited the availability to one, and the scroll was damaged such that he could not scribe it, only cast from the scroll.
Levinson: I only needed one scroll of Creeping Doom to wipe out these traitors!
GM: Which is probably why I didn't want it in my game.
Baron: [Knowing that this would only incite Levinson more] I also paid double the normal price for a 7th level spell.
Levinson: I had more money than you can imagine, Baron!
Baron: Then you should have leveraged it with other skills. The three spells unleashed by my sequencer are two targeted Dispels and Improved Invisibility, which having a touch range, defaults to myself. I'll start rolling dispel checks, say 'when', GM.

With two chances per effect and the higher caster level due to Baron's card from the Deck of Many Things, his Spell Sequencer wiped out all of Levinson's buffs, from the Anti-animal Shell through Bless, Prayer, Emotion and Protection from Fire.

Baron: Then, to end any chain-of-command issues, I command Pyrov: 'Ignore any more commands from Levinson, and kill him however you wish, but you will not harm me!'
Pyrov: Sweet!
Levinson: You little traitor; I was a good master to you, I kept you safe and mostly let you do what you wanted, when I could have killed you at any time or micromanaged your every move.
Pyrov: 'Oh, thankee kind master for mind controlling little ol' me'. Whatever...
Baron: Go ahead, Pyrov.
Pyrov: Alright, I cast Arcane Napalm!
GM: There aren't a lot of targets, just tell me who you're hitting.
Pyrov: No, no, I like the drawing it out part. Gimme the map...
GM: [sigh] Fine, fine, smudge up my nice underground cathedral room map...
Pyrov: [His tongue hanging out as he concentrated on marking up the graph paper] ...there, and there...
Ingvar: Hey, what the hell! I'm on Baron's and your side!
Pyrov: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess he should have included you on the 'don't burn' list when bossing me around.
Baron: Oops.
Ingvar: [Annoyed at Baron now] You never 'oops'... you intentionally didn't protect me because you were hoping he would go nuts and burn me!
Baron: It's not my fault Pyrov's such a loose cannon...
GM: Are you done drawing extra flame bursts around the room, half of them aren't even hitting anything.
Pyrov: Hey, I get one burst-per-level, and you aren't going to gyp me out of any!
Baron: Yet you conspicuously missed Levinson's remaining snakes.
Pyrov: Meh, I'm a loose cannon. Who knows what wacky Pyrov will do next.
GM: Alright, pillars of flame sprout up all around the room, as shown here. Ingvar and Levinson and the soldier need to save against the initial 35 damage.
Ingvar: I save, and the damage is reduced by my Fire Resist, so I don't take much.
Levinson: Ugh, I save but my resistance spell was dispelled earlier.
Pyrov: Would everybody stop saving already!
Levinson: My soldier fails, and he dies.
Ingvar: Well with the cheese-barrier gone, I'm going to run up and try to finish Levinson before he can cause anymore trouble.
Levinson: You're such a Zergling. Baron doesn't care what happens to you, you'll be sacrificed at the soonest opportunity...
Ingvar: Well I'm kindof comitted now, because frankly, you bear grudges like no other. One swing at you and it might as well be a fight to the death.
Levinson: And knowing that, you damned well shouldn't have swung!
Ingvar: Well take 16, 14, 21 and 18.
Levinson: That third one is a miss, but ugh...
Baron: Getting low?
Levinson: You wish!
Baron: I thought you'd be dead by now, but then again, I had thought we'd have called it a night an hour and a half ago, so what do I know.
GM: [After a moment] Well, it's you turn, Levinson. ...Levinson?
Levinson: [Disturbed] Where could she be? She was supposed to call at seven!
GM: I don't know, but we're coming to a climax here, it's down to the wire and you need to make a decision...
Levinson: I'll... I uh... I'll back up and... I cast an area Dispel magic such that it hits Ingvar, Pyrov and this square way over here that Pyrov pointed out with his Napalm.
Baron: Thrice-damned duplicitous Dominate victim... I was hoping you wouldn't see what he did there.
Levinson: How could I miss it... you ordered him not to harm you, but he blasted every square around you leaving just the one unscathed spot where you had to be. He did cast See Invis before this whole thing. Let's see, I dispel the highest level buff off Ingvar...
Ingvar: Damn, my Haste...
Levinson: And I don't care what your fruity modified caster-level was, you're losing your highest-level buff Baron.
GM: His Improved Invisibility bites it, and he reappears.
Levinson: Good, I'll set the snakes on him...
GM: Five of them hit, so Baron loses his last Stoneskin charge, takes 14 damage and has to save against Type M poison twice.
Baron: Type M, ugh... I save against one but fail the other. That's going to hurt...
Levinson: And let's not forget, I'll roll for what must certainly be the Dominate on Pyrov...
Baron: Ha! You can't penetrate my superior arcane skills on that one, Pyrov remains mine. I'll have to keep him under a tighter reign after that little stunt, though...
Pyrov: Do your worst, a-hole!
GM: I know you guys are technically fighting to the death, but let's try to keep the tone reasonably civil out-of-character, please guys?
Pyrov: I call Baron an a-hole all the time, in-game, out-of-game. He's just an a-hole.
Baron: Immaturity aside, I believe my turn has come again.
Pyrov: No it's not, because Levinson didn't extinguish the flames. Ingvar took nearly nothing from the secondary napalm, but Levinson said he lost his Fire Res, so eat 14 damage!
Levinson: [Looking as though he were reeling] negative five......you... aghk... DAMMIT! You killed me you freak! You little bastard!
Pyrov: Don't blame me, blame a-hole for ordering me to finish you. Also stabby-McTrident there, he did an ass-ton of damage.
Baron: And last but not least, blame yourself for neglecting to cast Heal that last round. You can't tell me you didn't have one memorized, or perhaps a scroll. From Max HP you may have been in a position to escape...
Levinson: [The anger had disappeard, replaced with some other emotions] Whatever, if I'm dead I need to... excuse me...

Levinson left the room IRL, while in-game, Baron's group had won. However, with Baron's turn in the initiative coming up again, it seemed he wasn't quite done with the combat.

Baron: Well done Ingvar. However, I think we've reached the critical turning point where you are of less use to me than your equipment.
Ingvar: Ya, once I saw that you were controlling Pyrov, I could see where this was going. My main regret was losing the Haste there, Levinson couldn't have done you a bigger favor.
Baron: I'll cast Minor Sequencer...
Ingvar: Ah, another page out of the Baldur's Gate 2 cheese guidebook, GM you really need to restrict the casters more next time.
Baron: This Sequence is Invisibility plus Melf's Acid Arrow.
GM: Melf's first though, right?
Baron: Absolutely not.
GM: But that would defeat the purpose of the Invis, since you'd immediately break it.
Baron: I memorized it this way knowing that I had little chance of scoring a to-hit roll against Ingvar's AC, yet I wanted a source of damage that could ignore his ridiculous Drow MR. This way, he doesn't see it coming.
Pyrov: He's a Drow?
Baron: I'm appalled that this could be seen as news by anyone, after the number of spells he resisted. As an invisible attacker, I need only a little luck to... yes, eat 6 acid damage.
Ingvar: I'd love to laugh that off, but it's going to burn another four rounds, isn't it?
Baron: [With a little flourish, like an upper-body bow] Enjoy. Pyrov: blast him.
Pyrov: Fireball!
Ingvar: I MR that one, and I'm going to run this way, jump as high as I can (which is pretty high for a guy in full plate) and trigger my Levitate spell-like ability to rise the rest of the way up, disappearing into this window-like alcove.
Baron: I'll chase him with a Lightning bolt; no fancy math, the two-hits from a normal approach vector should be sufficient to ensure his demise, should it penetrate his MR.
Ingvar: Nope, I laugh off your puny spell! Ha! Then I burn for 5 acid damage.
Baron: From an even punier spell, delightful. Pyrov? Torch him, would you.
Pyrov: I'll move over here for a better angle and toss a fireball in there - eat 32 damage.
Ingvar: MR fails, save succeeds, so 16 minus ten resistance, I take 6 whole damage.
Pyrov: 'You can't win hiding in that little hole!'
Ingvar: Well they don't see my action, so go ahead.
GM: [Reading Ingvar's note] Ahh, I see. A Web spell erupts, trapping you both but leaving a little space between Pyrov and the wall.
Baron: Well I'll bless him with another Lightning Bolt, as long as he's holed up in there.
Pyrov: Fireball!
GM: Something tells you he doesn't die. Then you see him emerge from an adjacent alcove...
Baron: They're all connected in the back? Damn...
Ingvar: I scouted this out when we came here with the Resistance. Pyrov was busy elsewhere, and I may have forgotten to mention it to him...
Baron: 'You've succeeded in wasting two of our spells, but you can't win without coming down to fight us, or do you think we'll somehow strangle ourselves in your Web spell-like ability?'
Ingvar: In answer, I'll let go of this little chime...
Baron: Oh crap...
Ingvar: [Grinning broadly] That's right, remember the old 'if it rings' ruling GM made last year about using chimes without spending an action? I'll leap down with a a touch of Levitation to avoid falling damage, and as my Chime of Interruption hits the ground with a little ding...
GM: No spells with a verbal component may be cast within a 30-foot radius for 3 rounds.
Ingvar: [in Ingvar's unplaceable, possibly transylvanian evil accent] 'Or, as Ingvar the Invulnerable likes to call it,' [inexplicably dropping out of the accent] 'Eat Mordencainen's Mother****ing Moratorium, spellcasting suckas!'
Pyrov: D'oh...
Ingvar: Landing next to Pyrov, I'll attack him twice, take 17 and 19.
Pyrov: Ow! Also, ow! I'll move away...
GM: You can't, you're in a Web. Your strength is too low to move.
Pyrov: Fine, then I'll Burning Hands my way out!
GM: You can't, Burning Hands has a verbal component, so it can't be cast until the Chime of Interruption effect wears off.
Pyrov: Well what the HELL am I supposed to do!
Ingvar: 'DIE!'
GM: Um, you could attack him physically, or trigger a non-spell-completion magic item.
Pyrov: A what now? I'll just hold my action or some crap...
Baron: I will drop a flask of Alchemist fire with each hand. Since I'm not making an actual attack with either one, I should be able to torch two separate squares of web, though I take 2d6 for burning away my own square. Then I unbutton my jacket, because it's time to get serious.
GM: I assume that's 8 HP well spent, since you've burned a path out of the web.
Pyrov: Sweet, I'll use a flask to burn my square too! My ring of Fire Resistance will eat all the damage.
GM: Unless I roll 11 or higher.
Pyrov: Did you roll 11 or higher?
GM: I rolled 11. Take one.
Pyrov: DAMN YOU!
Ingvar: I'll chug my Haste potion, Lev up and over the square of web connecting it with the far wall, then drop down and run around the outside of the web to corner Baron in the little section he burned away.
GM: You see Baron with his trademark military-style uniform-jacket unbuttoned, and a piece of paper sticking out of his breast pocket is now visible, with some writing on it.
Ingvar: What is it... no WAIT! I DIDN'T!
Baron: [Sounding very smug] I think we can all concur that he attempted to read the text.
Ingvar: No way, you can't do that, it isn't fair!
GM: I'm sorry Ingvar, but you were trying to read the text, which triggers the rune. The Sepia Snake sigil lashes out from Baron's pocket, to-hit roll Baron?
Baron: [Shaking the die emphatically] This would be an excellent time for a little soulcrushing good fortune to accentuate my overbearing genius...
Ingvar: Well you'd need to roll a freakin'... no way! Give me a break!
Baron: How about a brief vacation, say... 1d4 days +1 per caster level?
Ingvar: Dammit! What a cheap way to die.
Baron: Oh, you won't actually die until the Web and Chime wear off, I've recast my Stoneskin, dropped a Mirror Image on myself and had Pyrov give us both Fly.
Pyrov: What are you going to do with me then?
Baron: Good question...

A question that was interrupted by a very loud noise from the other room, followed by Levinson storming back in.

Levinson: [Practically glowing red] WHAT... THE... HELL?
Baron: You'll be pleased to know that Ingvar has met his doom.
Levinson: [Raging] I just phoned my daughter and she had no idea what I was talking about, she said she never told me her flight was moved up to Saturday at all; she's still coming up after the weekend! What the **** is going on!
Baron: [Surreptitiously collecting his dice back into their little black leather bag] Perhaps your email was hacked?
Levinson: [His anger suddenly running ice cold] I never said anything about email.
Baron: Well, I just assumed... post is such a slow way to communicate, and if she just told you on the phone, clearly that wasn't the original method of communication.
Levinson: HACKED my EMAIL?
Baron: Pyrov, now that major combat operations have ended, please finish Levinson.
Pyrov: [Blissfully ignorant of the email conversation's implications] 'ACIDFIRE! DIE TROLL, DIE!'
Levinson: [Stunned again, being jerked back for a moment into the in-game treachery] WHAT... THE... HELL?
GM: Ouch, with half of that damage being acid... [His voice trailing off fainter and fainter] ...you would stop regenerating and die for real...
Baron: [Grabbing his bag and bolting out of the room towards the back door] I think that's a night... [From down the hall] See you next week?

Exeunt.