Tuesday January 30th 2007, 7:01 am
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
I once dated a girl whose parents had a parrot. All I can tell you about parrots is, Penny Arcade is right.
27 Comments
Monday January 29th 2007, 6:15 am
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
The next comic will go up tomorrow (that’s Tuesday). In the meantime, here’s something stupid I made.
-Matt M.
Saturday January 27th 2007, 9:36 am
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
Believe me, every time I start my car, I feel real classy. Now all I need is a trash bag duct taped over my window and a heroin addiction.
Thursday January 25th 2007, 9:53 am
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
3ce
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
I was honestly pretty pissed when I found out how easy my car is to steal. I mean, it really is that simple. With a hole already cut into the (plastic) steering column, it doesn’t take any longer to hotwire than it would to start with a key. That’d be understandable if my car was made in the seventies or eighties or something– when I’d feel comfortable blowing it off as the errors of a previous generation– but my car was made in ‘96. We’re talking about an age of computers and cyberspace, advancements everywhere, all kinds of cell phones and wireless shit going around, and yet the highly-paid engineers at General Motors are unable to manufacture a car that I could not teach a drunken five-year-old with Down’s syndrome how to steal*. Awesome, thanks GM. Way to blow it.
*Possibly why the company is going under?
Tuesday January 23rd 2007, 4:39 am
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
Filed under: MalfunctionJunction
The sick thing is, I can tell you with absolute certainty that the crackhead who stole my car didn’t make $95 from it. The city made more money off my stolen car than the asshole who took it, and that’s amazing to me.
Is this what happens to every victim of a crime? When you get stabbed in Columbus, do they send an accountant to the hospital to bill you for having to mop up your blood? I find the idea less and less improbable every day.
I’ve got more stories about the Columbus Department of Uselessness and Apathy to come after I’m done telling you about my stolen car experience. They’re from a few weeks back and I didn’t think of them as comics-to-be when they happened, but I’m on a roll with this stuff and I need to vent.