Only in Ohio do you get a hippie preacher running against a black guy who is more Republican than a cowboy hat full of chewing tobacco.
I don’t know who’s going to win this thing, but I can tell you one guaranteed winner in the end: the state of Ohio. No matter who the next governor is, we’re upgrading from Bob Taft who, according to polls, recently had a 6.5% approval rating, lower than any other American politician in history. I mean, come on. Six and a half percent was Hitler’s approval rating in 1943– with the British.
Exceptions will be made for professional alchemists.
This comic was inspired by a conversation between me and my boss that occurred while I was drawing the last comic.
If you work in a gas station and you mostly just read the paper while you’re there, you will think about fuel A LOT. In case you didn’t know, every article in the newspaper is about gasoline right now.
I actually talked with my manager about E85 a couple weeks ago and I was pretty surprised by his response– he said he’d talk to the district manager about it. He thought it was a good idea. I mean, we’ve got a kerosene pump, and we sell about two teaspoons of kerosene a year, so it’s not like it’d be any loss to empty the thing out and put something else in there. Plus, like I said, a lot of newer cars can use the stuff.
I was talking about this with Brian the other day and he was saying that the US would be using gasoline as its primary fuel source until there was no gas left. I disagreed and said that I didn’t think we’d be on the stuff for that much longer. My reasoning was that car companies have been putting flex-fuel engines in American cars for a while now, without really saying anything about it. A flex-fuel engine can run on gasoline, ethanol, or any combination of the two. They’re still putting these things in cars. Once there are a lot of these cars out there (and there are already quite a few,) gas stations will more commonly carry ethanol-heavy fuel, and then, when there are enough, goodbye gasoline. Anyway, he didn’t believe that these cars were as proliferated as I claimed. I asked him how old his truck was. He said three years. To the internet. We looked it up and, lo and behold, Brian’s truck is a flex-fuel. He had no idea. Anyway, I think I won that discussion. Did I win? I think I won. I don’t know. But it’s cause for a little hope, at least.
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Have I ever mentioned that Brian is gay? Actually, have I ever even mentioned that his name is Brian? Well, I guess neither has really come up until this conversation. Anyway, today I crown Brian the Official Token Gay Guy of Malfunction Junction. Huzzah.
Actually, this being Columbus, Ohio, I’m surprised I haven’t mentioned any gay folks before now. Did you know Columbus has the second-highest gay population of any city in the US? It’s true. There’s a whole lot of gay guys and, as far as women, there’s basically only two kinds around here: lesbians and bisexuals. In most other places, two women getting it on is crazy, wild hotness. In Columbus, it’s a weekday. Absolutely standard practice. And that’s why they call this a swing state.
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