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	Alex First appeared: Alex is at a loss for words Manning the front line of Ubersoft's technical support hotline, Alex is the ideal Ubersoft Help Desk technician: intelligent, technically proficient, and completely unwilling to provide any assistance at all to any caller unfortunate enough to reach his line. Alex turned down a career in marketing because it wasn't challenging enough for his tastes.
	The Unknown Caller First appeared: Alex is at a loss for words Consistently unable to receive any decent technical support from ubersoft, the caller has suffered through system crashes, intentionally disable software, buggy applications, and incomprehensible licesning schemes. Strangely, the caller continues to buy Ubersoft's products.
	The UberThugs First appeared: Worst-case scenario Manning the Help Desk Mission Control Center, the UberThugs are a fast response team for high-threat situations... such as someone looking for OS/2 support.
	Mr. Bunny, the Hoppy Computer Guy a.k.a. "Boss," "The Boss," "The Dark Lord of Ubersoft" First appeared: The Boss The Dark Lord of Ubersoft comes from the darkest regions of the abyss. It left the Netherworld seeking only to strike terror into the hearts of mortals and to spread suffering throughout the land. Wisely, it started a software company. It now has most of the world under its spectral thumb.
	Scott First appeared: Training, day 1 Trained by Alex, Scott proved to be too sensitive and honest to be an effective Help Desk technician on his own. Due to an unfortunate incident that resulted in him actually admitting to a caller that "it was all a scam," he was held back and forced to be a trainee for quite some time. Finally, he was given a chance to advance, but in order to do so he had to lie to his mother. His mother, infuriated by the action, forced him to quit. Scott was rehired when, lacking a positive role model to deviate from, Ubersoft employees suddenly became unable to refrain from being helpful and considerate.
	Viktor Schreck First appeared: Logos and Lawyers and Names (Oh My) Overpaid, overconfident, but terribly effective nonetheless, this hotshot has had all the mirrors removed in his private bathroom. Like most high-powered corporate lawyers, he has no reflection...
	Monk First appeared: Idle Gossip Another Help Desk operative and one of Alex's friends, little is known about him at the moment.
	Deep Grey First appeared: Interesting developments Created as an artifically intelligent, non-union alternative to the Ubersoft Help Desk staff, it quit when (after being fed all the Ubersoft corporate information) it determined the corporate benefits were inadequate. It is now a vice president at a rival software corporation.
	King First appeared: Meet the Press An Ubersoft employee and a friend of Alex's, he officiated at the Alex/Deep Grey contest.
	Bart First appeared: Meet the Press One of Ubersoft's programmers, he co-officiated at the Alex/Deep Grey contest.
	The Department of Justice First appeared: Enter, government, stage right First simply another voice on the telephone, we later meet the chief prosecutor for the DOJ in Prosecution, opening statements. Some are turned into rabbits on The first day of trial.
	The Judge First appeared: The First Day of Trial Tired, confused, insulted and pushed to the limits of his patience, the Judge just wanted to officate the Unholy Business Practices trial and go home.
	Binky, the Cheerful Winking Paperclip First appeared: Next witness, office supplies Cheerful, cute, and completely useless, Binky is the artifically intelligent help system of the latest version of UberWordSoftOfficePro. God help us all.
	Phil First appeared: Homecoming Ubersoft's lead programmer, he created Binky while in a drunken stupor. This simple truth has haunted him ever since.
	Alice First appeared: Family Alex's little sister, she works in Marketing.
	Brian, Vice President of Marketing First appeared: First Interview Ubersoft's newest Vice President of Marketing originally applied for the job of the new corporate Tech Writer... however, because he had a criminal record he was put in upper management.
	Mark First appeared: Cut from the same... Ubersoft needed a technical writer to put on a good show for the Department of Justice, and Mark accepted the job. Despite the fact that the job was obviously a token position and he would have no real support, Mark didn't seem concerned abou the impossible schedules ane overbearing workloads. Why? Because he'd been a government contractor for three years. It is interesting to note that Mark looks a whole lot like Alex, only with black hair. It's almost as if the cartoonist was too lazy to create another character from scratch, so he just modified Alex's templates slightly... nah. That could never happen.
	Henry First appeared: Fixing the Problem Queue Henry is the head of Ubersoft's IS department. He's a little... tense.