He jabbed the finger at Nutt. ‘And him? He made stuff. He knew things. And he’d never seen a game before today! He was only wearing the strip to fit in!’

‘Don’t you worry, Trev, mate,’ Andy hissed and raised his cutlass menacingly. ‘There’s going to be a bloody war about this!’ But Trev was suddenly in his face like a wasp.

‘You what? You are mental! You just don’t get it, do you?’

‘I can see helmets, Andy,’ said Jumbo urgently.

‘Me? What did I do?’

‘As much as the stupid Stollops. Dimmers and Dollies? I hope the gods shit thin shit on both of you!’

‘They’re getting really close, Andy.’

The Stollop boys, who were not altogether dumb, were already leaving. People in football strip were criss-crossing the city. The Watch couldn’t chase everyone. But, well, belting some bloke who then bled a lot and stopped breathing, well, that was tantamount to murder, and the Old Sam could develop quite a turn of speed in those circumstances.

Andy shook a furious finger at Trev. ‘It’s a hard life in the Shove when you’re a dumb chuff with no mates.’

‘This ain’t the Shove!’

‘Better wake up, kid. It’s all Shove.’

The Posse left at speed, although Jumbo turned for a moment to mouth ‘sorry’. They weren’t the only ones hurrying off. The street people were all for a free cabaret, but this one might have associated difficulties: for example the asking of dangerous metaphysical questions such as ‘Did you see anything?’ and similar. It was all very well for the Watch to say ‘the innocent have nothing to fear’, but what was that all about? Who cared about the innocent and their problems when the Watch were on their way?

Trev knelt by the cooling body of the late Nutt.

And now for the first time in a minute, it seemed to Trev, he started to breathe again. He had stopped when he had raged at Andy ’cos if you talked like that to Andy you were dead anyway, so why waste your breath?

There were things you had to do, weren’t there? Weren’t you supposed to keep banging on the chest to, like, show the broken heart how to beat again? But he didn’t know how, and you didn’t need much smarts to know that it was not a good idea to try to learn with the Watch on the way. It would not give a good first impression.

That was why, when two watchmen turned up at speed, Trev was walking unsteadily towards them with Nutt in his arms. He was relieved to see that in charge was Constable Haddock: at least he was one of the ones who asked questions first. Behind him, and eclipsing most of the scenery, was Troll officer Bluejohn, who could clear a whole street just by walking down the centre of it.

‘Can you help me get him to the Lady Sybil, Mister Haddock? He’s very heavy,’ said Trev.

Constable Haddock pulled the sodden shirt aside, and made a sad little clicking sound. With experience comes familiarity.

‘Morgue’s closer, lad.’

‘No!’

Haddock nodded. ‘You’re Dave Likely’s son, aren’t you?’

‘I don’t have to tell you!’

‘No, ’cos I’m right,’ said Constable Haddock evenly. ‘Okay, Trev. Bluejohn here will take this man, who I expect you have never seen before in your life, and we’ll both run to keep up. There was a decent thunderstorm the night before last. He might be lucky. And so might you.’

‘I never did it!’

‘ ’course not. And now… let’s see who’s fastest at running, shall we? The hospital first.’

‘I want to stay with him,’ said Trev, as Bluejohn’s huge hand gently cradled Nutt.

‘No, lad,’ said Haddock. ‘You stay with me.’

It didn’t stop with Constable Haddock. It never did. Everyone called him Kipper, and his calm unspoken message that since we’re all in this together, why make it hard for one another often worked, but sooner or later you’d be handed over to a senior copper who manufactured hard, in a little room with another copper at the door. And this one had been working double shifts, by the look of her.

‘I’m Sergeant Angua, sir, and I hope you are not in trouble.’ She opened a notebook and smoothed down the page.

‘Shall we go through the motions? You told Constable Haddock that you saw a fight going on and when you got there all the big boys had run away and, amazingly, you found your workmate, Mister Nutts, bleeding to death. Well, I bet I can name all the big boys, every last one of them. I wonder why can’t you? And what, Trevor Likely, is this about?’ She flicked a black-and-white enamel token across the table, and by luck or judgement its pin stuck in the wood a few inches from Trev’s hand.

The unofficial motto of the Lady Sybil Free Hospital was ‘Not everybody dies’. It was true that, subsequent to the founding of the Lady Sybil, the chances of death from at least some causes in the city were quite amazingly reduced. Its surgeons were even known to wash their hands before operating as well as after. But moving through its white corridors now was a figure who knew, from personal experience, that the unofficial motto was, in reality, entirely mistaken.

Death stood by the well-scrubbed slab and looked down. MISTER NUTT? WELL, THIS IS A SURPRISE, said Death, reaching into his robe. LET ME SEE WHAT I HAVE HERE.

YOU KNOW, he said, I USED TO WONDER WHY PEOPLE SCRABBLED SO. AFTER ALL, COMPARED WITH THE LENGTH OF INFINITY, PEOPLE DO NOT LIVE ANY TIME AT ALL. EVEN YOU, MISTER NUTT. ALTHOUGH I CAN SEE THAT SCRABBLING WOULD WORK A LITTLE MAGIC IN YOUR CASE.

‘I can’t see you,’ said Nutt.

JUST AS WELL, said Death. YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER ME, IN ANY CASE, LATER ON.

‘I’m dying, then,’ said Nutt.

‘YES. DYING AND THEN AGAIN LIVING. He fished out a life-timer from his robe and watched as the sand fell upwards. SEE YOU LATER, MISTER NUTT. I FEAR THAT YOU WILL HAVE AN INTERESTING LIFE.

‘A Dolly favour on a good Dimmer boy? Gods bless my soul, I say, what can this be about? And you know what? I will find out. It’s all a matter of shoving.’

Trev said nothing. He was out of options. Besides, he had seen the sergeant before, and she always seemed to be looking at his throat.

‘Constable Haddock tells me the Igor’s on duty down at the Lady Sybil. I hope he’s got a heart in his vats that’ll fit your friend, I really do,’ she said. ‘But it’ll still be a murder case, even if he comes walking in here tomorrow. Lord Vetinari’s rules: if it takes an Igor to bring you back, you were dead. Briefly dead, it’s true, which is why the murderer will be briefly hanged. A quarter of a second usually does it.’

‘I didn’t touch ’im!’

‘I know. But you have to keep solid with your mates, right? Jumbo and, of course, Carter, and, oh yes, Andy Shank, your mates, who aren’t here. Look, you are not under arrest–yet–you are helping the Watch with their inquiries. That means you can use the privy, if you’re feeling brave. If you’re feeling suicidal, use the canteen. But if you try to run off I will hunt you down.’ She sniffed and added, ‘Like a dog. Understand?’

‘Can’t I go and see how Nutt is gettin’ on?’

‘No. Kipper’s still down there now. That’s Constable Haddock to you.’

‘Everyone calls him Kipper.’

‘Maybe, but not when it’s you talking to me.’ The sergeant twirled the favour around on the table in an absent-minded way. ‘Has Mister Nutt got any next of kin? That means relatives.’

‘I know what it means. He talks about people in Uberwald. That’s all I know,’ Trev lied instinctively. Saying that someone had spent his youth chained to an anvil was not going to help here. ‘He gets on all right with the other guys in the vats.’

‘How come he’s in there?’

‘We never ask. There’s usually some bad story.’

‘Anyone ever ask you?’

He stared at her. That was coppers for you. They came over all friendly, and just when you dropped your guard they stuck a pickaxe in your brain.