The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons Written by Richard Appel Directed by Dean Moore ============================================================================== Production code: 5F04 Original Airdate on FOX: 16-Nov-1997 Capsule revision C (31-May-2000) ============================================================================== > "TV Guide" Synopsis ============================================================================== None submitted. [If you use these summarise to determine if you have found the right capsule, here's a TV Guide-like synopsis: For the first time in his life, Apu becomes quite popular with the ladies of Springfield. He's having the time of his life until his mother makes a visit from India, reminding him of his arranged marriage, which will take place soon unless Homer can do something about it.] ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Blackboard: None. Couch: Bart spraypaints a picture of his family on the couch, leaving his alias signature, `El Barto.' ============================================================================== > Didja notice... ============================================================================== ... the Springfield Civic Center looks much smaller on the outside? ... Apu is sat with Sanjay at the auction? ... Krusty presents the auction, his attire being his robe? ... Stacey Lavelle at the auction? ... when the ladies are making impressed noises about Apu's accomplishments in computers, among them is a guy? ... some peacocks can be seen during Apu's flashback? ... after several different possible new hairstyles, Apu keeps his old style? ... the Retirement Castle still has a sattelite dish? ... how fast Homer learns everyone's names at the old folks home? ... Moe wears an Easter Island t-shirt? Donni Saphire-Bernstein: ... the old guy Homer took the place of looked kind of self-sufficient? Don Del Grande: ... Miss Hoover lives next to Milhouse? ... Luann Van Houten has an income, since she (supposedly) pays alimony to Kirk? ... Tuesday is Ladies' Night at Moe's, despite the fact that women still don't go there (according to 4F03)? ... Selma and Miss Hoover were among the bidders for Apu, but Patty and Mrs. Krabappel were not? ... Springfield's regular fire department doesn't have a fire engine, but the volunteer FD does? ... when Apu "comes home" to Marge, they shake hands? ... Milhouse and Sanjay's daughter are throwing rocks at Homer when he's trapped in the tree? ... Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel are dancing together at the wedding? ... the "normal" credits started to run, but after Yeardley Smith's name appeared, it switched to the "compressed" credits? Tony Hill: ... Homer expects Apu's mother to write Apu a dirty letter? ... Marge is irritated by Apu's mother's calls to India? ... the bubbles _weren't_ on in the hot tub? ... Milhouse is among those getting even with "Ganesh"? Haynes Lee: ... Luanne dancing with Pyro? ... this is the first uneventful wedding? Damian Penny: ... Louanne is paying alimony to Mr. Van Houten? ... Bart and Lisa's Indian clothing at the wedding? ... Miss Hoover is wearing makeup on her date with Apu? ... the crazy old man has a wheelchair? Dallas Pesola: ... the Springfield Retirement Castle has a satellite dish on the roof? I was suprised that the writers didn't add 'satellite TV' as one of the reasons Homer loved it there. Jeremy Reaban: ... the Beer Tap in Moes has a label on it "Booze"? ... Smithers was in the audience at the bachelor auction? ... as the everyone dances at the party at the end, Homer continues to be manhandled by the elephant? ... he eventually comes to enjoy it ("Hey, everybody's upside down")? ... at the end, Seymor and Mrs. Krabapple are dancing together? Benjamin Robinson: ... the Yodel box is consistently shown in the same position, even when Homer isn't sing it? Now attention to detail! Bob Wells: ... that Apu's mother (or whoever was planning this wedding) could come up with an elephant and an Indian band, but Rev. Lovejoy had to fill in for a Hindu clergyman? [{lc} comments, "You miss the point. The point is to make a joke. A Hindu priest performing a Hindu ceremony is not funny in itself. A Christian minister performing a Hindu wedding is, because of the incongruity. This makes it funny. (I admit the joke didn't come off very well because Rev. Lovejoy's lines were not very funny.) But one of the basic principles of all sitcom writing is putting in things that defy logic so you can set up a joke. For instance, also in this episode, Lisa asks what the red dot on the old Indian woman's forehead means. Some people have said that Lisa, being so intelligent, should already have known. Fine - but then how do you set up a joke about it? If Bart asks, and Lisa tells him, where's the humor?" --hmw] Buchanun (buchanon-aol.com): ... Apu sleeps in Bart's Krusty sleeping bag? ... the Kwik-E-Mart doesn't accept checks, credit cards, or food stamps? ... Moe has been planing a trip to Easter Island for years? ... Moe doesn't know Easter Island has giant heads? ... Moe bought a t-shirt at Easter Island? ... Homer's room number at the RC is 6B? ... Krusty needs a teleprompter to say "hey hey"? ============================================================================== > Voice credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Krusty the Clown, Abe Simpson, Barney Gumble, Air India clerk) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Moe, Fireman at bachelor auction, Apu, Kirk Van Houten, Ernst, Retirement Castle worker, Apu's relative at wedding, Cornelius Talmidge, Carl) - Harry Shearer (Kent Brockman, Captain McAllistar, Lenny, Gunter, Jasper, Reverend Lovejoy) - Special guest voice - Jan Hooks (Manjula) - Also starring - Maggie Roswell (Miss Hoover, Luanne Van Houten, Ruth Powers, Apu's mother, Retirement Castle worker) ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== + "The Two Mrs. Carrolls" - obvious inspiration for title {dga} + "The Two Mrs. Grenvilles" (1987 TV movie) - another possible inspiration for the episode's title + "The Wedding Banquet" - this episode had a similar plot to the movie, about a young Asian man pretending to get married to impress his parents {dp} + Harry Shearer (actor/star of the Simpsons) - the Hairy Shearers salon named in honor of this actor {bjr} + Coolio (musician) - one of Apu's possible haircuts resembles rapper Coolio's + "Friends" (TV series) - one of Apu's possible new haircuits resembles Rachel's + Siegfried & Roy - if the two guys missing a tiger at the airport aren't them, they sure are doing a good impression {bjr} [{dga} argues, "Actually, I think they are Gunther & Ernst from '$pringfield'." If Benjamin has successfully pinpointed the inspiration for these two characters, then the appearance in 1F08 that Dale talks about could very well be a reference to Siegfried & Roy. --hmw] + "Days of Thunder" (movie) - racing in wheel chairs {bu} + "Hazel" (TV show) - when Homer was saying hello to all the old folks in the Home, he stopped and yelled "Hazel" much like "Mr. B." used to in the old Hazel TV show {gc} + "Fried Green Tomatoes" (movie, book) - Manjula's favorite food + "Men in Black" (movie) - Homer being hurled all around by the elephant seemed reminiscent of the scene in "Men in Black" where Will Smith is hurled about in a similar fashion {zi} + "Saturday Night Fever" (movie) - glitterball, dance floor looks same {hl} - Apu dresses similar to John Travolta at the disco {dp} ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - Past auctions - [1F19] Bart bids at a priceless art auction for fun - [3F12] Auctioning Krusty's belongings - [4F19] Bart goes to an auction, and bids on a factory (and wins) - Ganesha appearances (Apu's God) - [9F01] Homer tries to offer Ganesha a peanut - [3F20] Apu gives his God chocolate milk - [9F01] Ganesh mentioned {bjr} - [9F06] Homer using someone else's medicine {bu} - [1F08] Ernest and Gunther {bu} - [1F15] Bart had an elephant once. His name was Stampy. He loved him {bjr} - [3F20] Apu's betrothed seen {bjr} - [3F20] Homer working on getting Apu married {dsb} - [4F04] Luanne Van Houten's Gladiator boyfriend {bu} ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - At the auction {bjr} SPRINGFIELD CIVIC CENTER Tonight: CHARITY BACHELOR AUCTION Tomorrow: I RETIRE, YA BASTARDS! (now we know why it's PG-L tonight) - Businesses Apu drives past {bjr} LOTSA BOOKS DRESS UP PLUS - Moe's souvenir T-shirt {bjr} EASTER ISLAND [kissing stone heads] IS FOR LOVERS (Actually, I'm extrapolating here. The only parts of the last two lines visible are, "FOR VERS".) - At the airport {bjr} AIR INDIA [flight attendant serving a bull] WE TREAT YOU LIKE CATTLE - Stores {bu} - Hairy Shearers - Dress up Plus - Lotas Books - At auction {bu} - Brandine - Kent Brockman - Mrs. Krabapple - Miss Hoover - Principal Skinner - Ruth Powers - Luanne Van Houten - Apu - OFF - Sanjay - Smithers - Krusty - Patty & Selma - Rejects {bu} - Barney Gumble - Moe - Otto - Hans Moleman - Kirk Van Houten - Comic Book Guy - Prof. Frink - Disco Stu - Captain McAlister - Women who bought Apu {bu} - Miss Hoover - Selma - Ruth Powers - Luanne Van Houten - unknown woman - Apus haircuts {bu} - George Clooney - jerry curl - flat top with name shaved in side - Coolio - Jenifer Aniston - People at wedding {bu} - Moe - Barney - Principal Skinner - Mrs. Krabapple - Sideshow Mel - Reverend Lovejoy - Ned & Maude Flanders - the Wiggums - OFF - Luanne Van Houten and her boyfriend ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity and other goofs ============================================================================== * In 9F01, Springfield has a fire engine, so why would they need to have a bachelor auction to raise funds to get one? * Let's just say the Krusty learned how to read a teleprompter after "Krusty Gets Busted (7G)" and leave it at that, okay? {bjr} c Close captioning at auction has words for "My Guy" but the only music is heard. {hl} c Captain McAllister says "I'm not attractive" but [please don't say what I think you're going to say, Haynes.. --hmw] close captioning says "I'll go quietly". [phew. --hmw] {hl} = Why was Professor Frink in the bachelor auction? He's married. {nmd} [BiffFoil (bifffoil@aol.com) suggests, "Do you remember the episode (don't remember which, sorry) in which Frink shows a demonstration of his young son flying a plane, then accidentally sends his son crashing through the window?? I'd say that might be something that would cause a divorce, don't you?" --hmw] = Apu doesn't have anyone sat next to him on either side, unlike in earlier shots. * How did the "five desparate chicks" gather so quickly? = The card and envelope Apu had vanishes. = When Apu climbs onto the Kwik-E-Mart table, the squishee cup has disappeared. * Doesn't Homer normally carry around lots of money? (8F11 and 3F16 come to mind.) He should be able to easily afford a candy bar and a lottery ticket, especially a $500 one. {ddg} = The lottery tickets "magically" disappear. = Homer's yodel isn't in Homer's hand as he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart. * How did Homer know the time while in the Retirement Castle? There isn't a clock, and he isn't wearing a watch. * Homer greets a guy named Asa in the retirement home-- This can't possibly be Asa Phelps, since he died in the "Flying Hellfish" episode. {ji} [but Asa Phelps is only one of the many Asa's it could be. --hmw] * Homer already knows what a wheelchair is; in 2F06, he wanted Marge to sit in a hallowed-out wheelchair. {ddg} [All the time he spends in the power plant is taking it's toll, no doubt. --hmw] = The wheels on Homer's chair got bigger once he was seated. {th} c Apu says, "1 in 25 arranged marriages end in divorce," but the captions say "1 in 85...". {ji} = OFF's garden seems to have expanded for the wedding. = Although Luann Van Houten bids on and wins Apu , she's seen at the wedding with her normal boyfriend, the American Gladiator (forget his name). {jr} * Didn't Apu live in a house in "Two Bad Neighbors"? {nmd} [In theory, he did, but we only saw him stood outside a house washing his car. --hmw] ============================================================================== > Reviews ============================================================================== Dale G. Abersold: On the one hand, I couldn't help but laugh at the contribution of the cast members: Hank Azaria is so funny as Apu that his just being irritated in that voice sends me into hysterics. I also enjoyed Homer's visit to the nursing home. Unfortunately, the plot as a whole (or is that "hole"?) was too outlandish in the first place to be redeemed by good performances or gags. Not the worst of the season (not by a long shot), but a disappointment nonetheless. (C+) Ben Collins: My hopes after 4F23 were a little off base: 5F04 is, "without a doubt," as the CBG would say, the worst episode this season. Everything from the stupid premise to the tired, sitcom-standard gags were excrutiatingly unfunny and painful to watch; I probably cracked a tiny smile once. And, once again, Homer's antics were much more grating than they could ever be amusing. Fortunately, this has been Richard Appel's only real clunker; let's hope he hasn't totally lost it. (D) Chris Courtois: As secondary character episodes go, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" was one of the better ones. OFF still played a role in the episode, and we weren't subjected to previously unsuspected revelations about the character. Apu had a fully in-character star turn, Homer was just Stupid Homer and not the dread A-incarnation we've gotten in most of the 5F's to date, and Lisa behaved (*gasp*) like an eight year old girl, not a mouthpiece for political commentary. The middle part, with Marge posing as Apu's wife, was dumb typical sitcom farce. But the last act was pretty funny, with lowbrow humor (Homer impersonating Ganeesh, the elephant beating up Homer) and satire ("God bless America"[s high divorce rate], "Christ is Christ") blending smoothly. (B+) Andrew Gill: After a good Act 1, the show seemed to plummet. I remember thinking "great! Asshole Homer in the background. That works well." Then Homer went to Springfield Retirement Castle. EEUGH! There was so much room for creativity that didn't get placed there. (C) Tony Hill: This was a fairly goofy episode. It was pretty funny and an exception to my usual dictum that eps built around minor characters aren't very good. Homer was even more boneheaded than usual. I suppose we'll see Apu's wife written into more episodes in the future. I give it a (B+). Haynes Lee: Had a good premise but the Marge and the kids posing as the family was far too contrived. I could have seen Apu shacking up with Patty & Selma instead. At least we did not get disappointed by another ruined wedding ceremony. (C-) Ondre Lombard: The set-up act is at best decent and at worst average, but that's the most upstanding part of the entire story. This sequel to Homer and Apu imitates a sitcom far too much for my taste, and deals with Apu so much that the family is basically non-existant. What's worse is that the part that is supposed to deal with the family (Marge pretending to be Apu's wife) lasts for a split second while we watch Homer act like a consistant 8th-season moron at the retirement home. Each act seems to be a different story. Act 1 is Apu's life as a swinging bachelor, Act 2 is Homer At the Retirement Home, with Marge living with Apu as a subplot, Act 3 is Apu's Wedding. Too much veering off course, too much mischaracterization (particularly on Homer and Lisa), too much Apu, and too little comedy. (D -) Michael K. Neylon: Overall, this is a effort I would gladly forget. Nothing really impressed me about it, and only founded my concerns about this season. For a latter season, it was terribly average (C, 6/10), and holds nothing to the series overall. (D-) Damian Penny: This was preferable to watching the Grey Cup blowout, but it was still a pretty mediocre episode. The subplot about Homer moving in with his father was far more entertaining - that probably should have been the focus of the show! There were aa few clever moments here and there (especially Lenny's "depressant" line), but not enough to save it. (C) Mark Aaron Richey: Only OFF would stage a sweeps staple-a wedding-and make it an arranged Hindu one. For two acts, Apu's attempts to avoid his nuptiuals was very funny. Only during the third act, when the real Mrs. Nahasapeema (...oh never mind) find out the truth did it began to derail. However, the wedding turned out to be the highlight of the show, with Homer's attack and Apu actually deciding to go through with the ceremony (a nice and somewhat unexpected development). It shoud be interesting to see if Apu will stay married, but the weddin was just fine. (B+) Benjamin Robinson: This show aims to present an amusing take on an old comedic standard, and in the main is successful at it. Unexpectedly light on "let's pretend we're married" scenes, "The Two Mrs. N's" concentrates instead on Homer's actions while the plan unfolds. The end peters out a bit, but this is a fine episode overall. Look -- or listen, rather -- for Andrea Martin and Jan Hooks, terrific as Apu's mom and bride, respectively. (B+) Donni Saphire-Bernstein: This episode was great. Despite some pain-inducing parts (i.e. Bart and Lisa questioning Apu's mom), it lived up to and exceeded my expectations. I'll admit some things bothered me- Homer as this creative mastermind sort of reminds me of Heathcliff, and how did they manage to get in all those Indian guests and not a hindu, err, spiritual leader? But it really was funny, and I think that those who criticize the lack of character depth and subtlety over the past season or so are missing the point. We're supposed to laugh, dammit! And I pretty much wet my pants when Homer came out as Ganeesh. Also providing the rolling-on-the-floors were Homer and Apu talking about faking deaths, Homer in the old folks home (finally a worthy subplot of sorts!) and the guys at the bar speculating about Apu. I might venture to say that this episode is the best so far this season, easily clearing Lisa's Sax and even (although I was the only one who liked it) Homer vs. New York. (A) Mike (thisthat-mindspring.com): Surprisingly well written episode about Apu as he tries to break a pre-arranged marriage. Homer come up with the 'terriffic' idea to have Apu pretend to be married to Marge when Apu's mother pays a visit to find out why he's already married in America. Needless to say, the plan is foiled when Apu's mom catches Homer and Marge in bed. Push comes to shove and Apu gives in and marries his pre-arranged bride. Highlights include Homer hiding out in the Nursing home, the actual ceremony (with Bart's 'traditional' kick and his longing for Stampy the elephant), and Homer getting attacked by the elephant at the end. (B) Doc Quack: This show demonstrates the loss of the older sharp humor that was the reason we watched in the first place. Homer was dumber than dirt... Again. Marge was a non-objecting dishcloth... Again. The kids were around... somewhere. It starts with a fire engine fund raiser, raffling off Springfield eligible bachelors, and rapidly goes downhill from there. Apu is forced into putting himself up, and all of the women bid on him, with a consortium of desperate women getting him. (Hey, this is the best part of the show!) It rapidly goes downhill from there. (C-) Yours truly: Not bad. Of course, there were flaws, but overall it was a fresh and funny episode. It's good to have an episode like this that doesn't only revolve around OFF, pulling in a less relevant but well-loved character like Apu into it. (B) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> The Educational Corner Benjamin Robinson: I almost put these two items in the "Oops!" (known as `animation, continuity, and other goofs --hmw) section, but decided against it. The "mistake" in both cases seemed to be a deliberate part of the joke. Just to set the record straight, though: 1) You can't hold a scratch-off ticket to the light and see whether or not it's a winner. Both the scratch-off material and the ticket paper itself are thick enough to block light. 2) Contrary to popular belief, elephants aren't afraid of mice. They can be frightened of things they hear but can't see, however, which may be how the "elephant vs. mice" story got started. There -- now you know. >> Well, it beats the bar scene Benjamin Robinson: A few weeks ago, ABC news correspondent John Stossel had a special report revolving around love and marriage. For the show, he interviewed several people who had their marriages arranged by their parents. Unlike Apu, who was at best ambivalent about his nuptials, the interviewees all praised the arrangement. Their parents, they noted, were in a good position to objectively decide whether two people would be a good match for one another. One person pointed out that the Western notion of marrying for love was hardly foolproof -- witness the high rate of divorce. Stossel was quick to say that in many countries where arranged marriage is the norm, divorce was also a taboo. Still, the argument for betrothal was stronger than I thought it would be. Perhaps Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilon had the right idea, after all. >> Next week, we'll have 'em in Chinese! Benjamin Robinson: Another week, another closing credits policy. Here's what we've seen so far: [4F22] Split screen, with "open" part used for Homer's drive out of New York City. [4F23] Split screen, with preview of next week's show. (Which, ironically, was pre-empted for baseball.) [5F02] Full screen to show "Halloween" credits [5F01] Split screen, with preview, again [5F03] Full screen, with Homer talking over the credits [5F04] Full screen for the "core" family, split screen with previews for everyone else. (Including Hank Azaria and Harry Shearer, who ought to be on the same "plane" as the rest of the regular cast.) Mike Smith adds, "3G02, in which they preview TOH VIII, on split screen." Dale G. Abersold's guess on the matter, "I think the reason for the unusual credits this week is the following: for 4F23 and 5F01, the credits went straight from the exec. producers to the Gracie Films screen and the 20th Century Fox logo (with annoying new "music"). If you'll notice, however, just before the Gracie Films music plays, we hear the final chord of the closing theme, rather jarring. The musical solution? Play the very beginning of the opening theme, which segues into the final chord. No more jarring." >> Stooping low. Nathan Mulac DeHoff: I found it interesting that Apu's mother mentions her "Brahmin heritage." Brahmins are the highest class in Hindu society (which makes it a little ironic that Apu works in a convenience store). Since it is considered "dirty" for someone in India to eat food prepared by a lower class, the most famous Indian cooks tend to be Brahmins (at least from what I heard in my ninth grade World Cultures class), and note that Apu mentions that he likes to cook. >> El Castrato! Laura Canon: Castrati (eunuchs) are traditional at Hindu weddings. Even today in India there remains a caste or class of eunuchs who roam around making their living solely by entertaining at weddings/parties. I'm surprised the Simpsons knew about this, however, unless they read a book that was published a couple of months ago by an American woman on this very subject. I'm also surprised they used the term castrati - either they couldn't get eunuch by the censors or they thought people wouldn't know what eunuch meant. >> Have a curry! Dale G. Abersold: This episode was particularly appropriate for this fall as India is currently celebrating the fiftieth anniversary of independence from Great Britain. Go have a curry! Watch _Gandhi_! Do _something_ to celebrate the independence of the world's biggest democracy. [posted to alt.tv.simpsons on 17th November 1997. --hmw] >> Easter island? What kind of joke is that? Easter Island (Rapa Nui, Chile) is over 2,000 miles from the nearest population center, (Tahiti and Chile), making it one of the most isolated places on Earth. A triangle of volcanic rock in the South Pacific - it is best known for the giant stone monoliths, known as Moai, that dot the coastline. The early settlers called the island "Te Pito O Te Henua" (Navel of The World). Admiral Roggeveen, who came upon the island on Easter Day in 1722, named it Easter Island. Today, the land, people and language are all referred to locally as Rapa Nui. There has been much controversy and confusion concerning the origins of the population of Easter Island. Thor Heyerdahl proposed that the people who built the statues were of Peruvian descent, due to a similarity between Rapa Nui and Incan stonework. Some have suggested that Easter Island is the remnant of a lost continent, or the result of an extra-terrestrial influence . Archaeological evidence, however, indicates discovery of the island by Polynesians at about 400 AD - led, according to legend, by Hotu Matua. Upon their arrival, an impressive and enigmatic culture began to develop. In addition to the statues, the islanders possessed the Rongorongo script; the only written language in Oceania. The island is also home to many petroglyphs (rock carvings), as well as traditional wood carvings, tapa (barkcloth) crafts, tattooing, string figures, music and dance. This information courtesy of the Easter Island homepage: [http://www.netaxs.com/~trance/rapanui.html] The extract submitted to a.t.s. by TAD. >> What's with that dot? Benjamin Robinson: (concerning Lisa's question about Apu's mother's gopi dot) Personally, I felt the scene would have played better if Lisa's line was just assigned to Bart: Lisa: Excuse my asking, Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilan, but can you tell me what the significance of your forehead dot is? Bart: Yeah, man, what's the deal with the dot? See, it's funny (in my opinion, at least) and it doesn't bend up logic too much. I agree that characters in a comedy cannot act with perfect rationality, for if they did, you would have a drama. Still, there are limits to how far one can push illogic. If people act completely out of character, or make stupefyingly boneheaded decisions, it can throw the viewer for a loop and blunt the humor of the situation. >> Do not offer my God a peanut! Tim Mooken: Ganesha is chiefly worshiped as "the remover of obstacles" a boon that would be very helpful to Kwik-E-Mart owners, who have to contend with such "obstacles as high rent, punk kids, vermin infestation and or the Dept of Health, and of course taxes. According to a myth Ganesha's father Siva mistook him as a lover of his wife and loped his head off. But was then forced to replace it with the first living thing he saw. Siva isn't very forgiving of Oedipus complexes. As far as I know he has no particular connection with children. >> Bupkes shmupkes Haynes Lee: What Krusty said while trying to auction Barney ["bupkes" --hmw.] is Yiddish for zilch. >> Fried Green Tomatoes "Fried Green Tomatoes" is exactly what Manjula says -- a movie, a book, and of course, a food. The book (or at least the one I know of) is called "Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe," written by Fannie Flagg. Flagg also wrote the 1991 "Fried Green Tomatoes" movie, directed by Jon Avnet. Rumour has it there's also a food known as fried green tomatoes, but it's unconfirmed. >> What's with that dot? The dot on Mother Nahasapeemapetilon's head is what is called a "gopi dot". Indian women have them on their forehead to show they are married. It's made of a removable red liquid. - Musical references - At the bachelor auction, Barney was played on (and off) the stage by a symphonic version of "My Guy." [Performed by Mary Wells {hl} --hmw] {bjr} - Also, Moe strutted his stuff to the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive." {bjr} - "Hot Blooded," by Foreigner, accompanied Apu's wild ride through downtown. (Later, he despondently sang this tune in Moe's Tavern.) {bjr} - The band at the wedding played a translated version of the Carpenters' "Close to You." {bjr} >> Miscellaneous - MPAA rating: PG-L {ddg} - Maggie's falls: 1 (when Apu's mother mentions she's a grandmother) {ddg} - The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this show is: Seymour Nahasapeemapetilons >> Unanswered questions Don Del Grande points out some of the oddities in the episode: - Marcia Wallace got a credit; did she have a speaking role? (Maybe it was cut?) - Who was the "fifth woman" (besides Miss Hoover, Luann, Selma, and Ruth Powers)? - What was with the first Easter Island joke? ============================================================================== > Quotes and scene summary {nh} {hmw} ============================================================================== % Kent Brockman is hosting a bachelor auction. Kent Brockman: Hello, I'm Kent Brockman, our top story - punks and lots of them. And all to raise money for the fire service so they can have a fire engine to get to fires. Bart: Lazy bums. Homer: Yes, why don't we get a mink stoles whilst we're at it. -- Bright thinking, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Kent: Now let's here it for our celebrity auctioneer, Krusty. Audience: What? Kent: The Clown [applause]. -- Ohh.. THAT Krusty, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Thank you, Hey-hey! I can't read that, not that either. O.K, let's bring on our first bachelor. This sexy fellow describes himself as a big thirsty teddy bear. Say hello to Barney Gumble. (walks on) I got zero, zero, zero, I got zero! [Barney walks to rejects] -- Krusty, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Next up is Captain McAllistar, who doesn't seem to be having any look so % far. Krusty: Come on! He likes sunsets what more do you want. McCalister: Yahrrr! I'm not attractive! -- Damn right, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Our last bachelor likes women who take their clothes off for money! Let's here it for Moe! -- Sounds good! "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Instead of staying on the stage, Moe walks across and straight into the % rejects section. % Lisa ponders on whether there are any good bachelors in this town, % followed by a shot of a small group of hunky male fire fighters, % obviously bachelors, out there alone. Marge: Apu, your'e a bachelor. Get up there. Apu: They won't like me. I'm nothing special. Marge: Don't be shy! Excuse Me! Excuse me! There's another bachelor. Lisa: Just tell them about yourself. Apu: Well, I have a docterate in computer science. I run my own business of course. I do like to cook, I'm not such a good talker, but I love to listen. In my spare time I like to build furniture and then to have a discussion about where to put it in a room. -- The exciting life of Apu, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Miss Hoover: Fifty dollars. Luanne Van Houten: Seventy five! Kirk Van Houten: You better have enough left to pay my alimony, Louanne. -- Ah, sweet divorce, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % The bids get higher and higher until a small group of five ladies put % together their money and bid for a grand total of nine hundred and % twenty six dollars! Sold, to the 5 desperate chicks! -- Krusty, auctioning Apu, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Sometime after the auction, Apu pulls up outside Miss Hoover's house in % his car after their date. It would appear Apu has won Miss Hoover a soft % toy during the course of their evening together! Hoover: I had a great time Apu, and thanks for winning Wubsy. I had no idea that you were such a great shot. Apu: Oh yes, all Kwik-E-Mart managers must be skilled in the deadly arts. -- You have left me no choice but to challenge you, rat! "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Apu realises this date will not be easy to top, but nonetheless, drives % a couple of houses down to Luanne's house for his next date. Luanne: Any body up for some clog dancing? Apu: Why don't you try to stop me! -- One down, four to go, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Time has passed, and Apu is at the Kwik-E-Mart, reading a romantic letter % from one of his many girlfriends. Apu: [reading] This is just a note to say I think about you everyday. And when I get you all alone.. Oh! It gets kinda personal here. Homer: I see... [reads rest] Wow! Apu: Here's one from my mother. Homer: Lets see what she wrote! [lusty growl] -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Apu opens up the letter and a lotus flower drops out. It must be a bad % sign, because Apu screams. You don't like lotus flowers too? Don't get me started on lotus flowers. -- Homer to Apu, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Apu explains that this lotus flower is an indication that his arranged % marriage, which was arranged when Apu was only eight years old, has caught % up with him and that the wedding will be soon. A flashback ensues. Apu's mother: 10 boats and a electric fan, you call that a dauree? Manjula's mother: OK, we will throw in a textile factory as well. But only because Manjula is getting on in years. Apu's mother: Ok it is agreed. Your 3rd daughter will marry our first son. Monjula's mother: It is done. -- A life-changing conversation, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Back to present. Apu: I can't get married, I'm just beginning to enjoy my batchelorhood, what should I do? Homer: Tell her the truth, you are not ready to get married! Apu: No, you don't know mother. She will never quit until I am married! Homer: Then tell her you already got married! Apu: No, no, no I cannot lie to my mother. Homer: Then get married. Phew! What do you want from me? -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Later, Apu is on the telephone to his mother, explaining that he's % already been married and the arranged marriage can't happen. Yes that is right mother, I already got married. Why did I not bother to tell you? The reason is... [looks at Homer who holds up sign: Where are the sticky buns?] Well I guess I didn't think you'd understand. I love you [kiss kiss], bye bye. [puts phone down]. It worked! The lie has set me free! -- Apu on the telephone to his mother, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % [I'm Hot Blooded, Check it and see, I got a fever of 103. Come on baby do % you do more to dance, I'm Hot Blooded, Hot Blooded, I don't have to read % your mind, To know whats in your mind, Honey you ought to know...] % The song of victory. Apu is once again free, and to celebrate, goes to a % barber to get a new hairstyle, ranging from outrageous and old-fashioned % to modern and stylish. % At the Kwik E-Mart. Apu is fast asleep on the counter desk, and Homer is % holding unpurchased Lotto tickets up against the light so he can cheat % and get a certain winner. Homer: Loser.. Loser.. Loser.. $500! Apu! Wake up! I want to buy a yodel and this lottery ticket. I have this much. Apu: I am sorry but you do not have enough for both. Homer: [groans, thinks] I'll take the yodel. -- A yodel is worth 500 words, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: [yawns] Homer: Late night, eh? Apu: Not the type to kiss and tell sir, but listen to this. [whispers, then gasps at the sight of his mother strolling through the parking lot. The gasp is odd sounding, and impresses Homer.] Homer: Oh you dog! Apu: Oh, It's my mother! What am I going to do?! Homer: What's the problem? Apu: Don't you see?! She is here to meet my wife! [Homer looks blank] The wife I told her I had! [Homer looks blank] I do not have a wife! Homer: Then you shouldn't have lied to your mother. -- Stating the obvious, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Oh, she'll be hear any second!! [Apu's mother trips and falls to the ground] Yes! That'll buy me some time! -- Apu, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Homer: Seems to me... Well you could always move into my house and tell your mom that Marge is your wife. Apu: Is it me or does your plans always have some horrid web of lies? Homer: It's you. -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: [pretends he hasn't realised it's his mother yet] Welcome to the Kwik-E-Mart-- Mother! What are you doing here? Apu's mother: I have come to meet this wife of yours. Apu: And meet her you shall! [Homer winks and walks away] It is a very reasonable request that can be easily be granted in a timely and officient... Apu's mother: Let's go. Apu: ... And we shall because it is in the timing that [Apu's mother pulls him by ear. He screams silently.] -- Motherly love, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % At home, instead of having explained the plan to Marge, Homer is sat % on the couch remeniscing on the yodel he ate earlier. Oh that yodel was so good. I wish I was eating it right now. -- Homer, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Homer: [sees Apu pull up outside) Marge, I need a small favour! Over the next few days will you pretend to be Apu's wife? Marge: [gasps] What? Homer: Please, it's just for as long as his mothers living here! Marge: What?! -- Nothing like leaving things to the last minute, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: [opens door] [nervously] Honey, I'm home! Marge: [playing along, reluctantly] How was your day, sweetheart? Homer: Oh, can you feel the love... -- Happy families, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Mother, I would like you to meet my wife of many many years.... Marge. -- Apu, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Marge: Hello, So what brings you to America? Apu's mother: I have come to see the woman who Apu is using to willingly disgrace his family and spit on his culture. Marge: Well here I am. -- First impressions, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" OK, gotta run. Apu I think you better go upstairs and fix that broken toilet before Marge yells at you again! [exits] -- Homer to Apu, who is pretending to be Marge's spouse, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Marge: I'm just so honoured to be able to have you hear in our home. Apu's mother: Thank you. And now I have met you can I say how deeply deeply diasapointed I am. Apu, Monjula is a sweet refined chased woman. [beat] Are you nuts?! -- Already fitting in, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Mother, you know that 1 out of every 25 arranged marrages end in divorce. -- Apu, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Marge: Bart & Lisa. You remember your *father* Apu? Well this is your *father* Apu's mother. [kids are confused but agree] Apu's mother: I cannot believe you did not tell me I had two grandchildren! [Maggie crawls in.] -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % At Moes Tavern. Homer: But you can't leave! We scamming an old lady at our place and I need a place to hang out! Moe: I'm sorry Homer, but I've been planning this vacation for years. I'm finally going to see Easter Island! Homer: Easter Island, The place with the giant heads? Moe: With the giant what now? -- Uh oh, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % At the Springfield Retirement Castle, Homer is visiting. Homer: Hi dad, I've come to spend some time with my favourite father! Grampa: Baloney! You've come here to put me in a home. Homer: I already put you in a home. Grampa: [shocked] How could you?! -- Remember the days when he wasn't behind the times? "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Man: Abraham Simpson - Cornelius Tamlidge. Homer: Oh wait, I'm not Corn-- Oh. Let's see what you got here. [looks at pills] Grampa: The pink ones stop you from going crazy. -- They don't work, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Hey, they have chairs with wheels and here I am using my legs like a sucker! -- Homer at the old folks home, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Homer hops onto a wheelchair and starts turning the wheels with his hands. % Jasper, however, has an electric wheelchair which requires only the touch % of a button. The two race eachother, but Jasper wins. It appears Homer has % a new rival! % That night, Apu is in Marge's bedroom rolling out one of Bart's sleeping % bags on the floor, while Marge sits in the bed. Apu: Again, Marge, I am sorry for the inconveinience. You are a real sport. Marge: How long will she be here? Homer was a little sketchy on the details. Apu: Oh, it should be no more than a couple of days. She really truly hates you. -- Talking about Apu's mother, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % In the morning, Bart, Lisa, and Apu's mother are sat at the breakfast % table. Lisa: Can I ask you about that dot? [referring to the gopi dot on Apu's mother's forehead.] Apu's mother: What would you like to know? Lisa: What's the deal with that dot? Bart: Can you see out of it? Does it turn colour when your'e ticked off? Apu's mother: You tell me. Bart: Nothing yet... -- Q & A with Mother Nahasapeemapetilon, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu's mother: Surely you know the background to your father's heritage. Bart: So long you have no follow up questions, then yes.. we do. Lisa: Fully. We have to go now. -- Inconspicuousness is a virtue, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % At the old folks home, Homer is walking through the room greeting his % new friends. Homer: Jasper. Gladys. Beatrice. Looking good, Hatty! Asa. Asel.. Asel.. Asel. To hell with her! Ester. Ameil. Prudence. Clemnial. Increase. Dad. Grampa: Cornelius. -- I have no son! "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Man: Supper time! [Homer jumps into a wheelchair and begins moving, but Jasper overtakes him, so Homer gets out the chair and runs the rest of the way, beating Jasper by a mile.] Homer: Eat my dust! Man: Wow, someone sure likes their kidney mush! Homer: Sure do! -- Mmmmm... kidney mush, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Later on, Homer is still at the old folks home. He's in bed, sucking on % some liquid-made food. Homer: Who knew that Laze made liquid potato chips? Can't suck just one. Woman: Another bag of patato chips, Mr. Talmidge? Homer: Also I think I'm getting a bed sore. What do you have to do to get turned round here [she begins]. Hey, what's Lucky joined up to? Woman: It's a machine that breaths for him. Homer: And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. And how come everyone has a bed pan and I have to walk all the way other there! Woman: Over there? [the toilet is right next to him] -- Lazy, lazy man, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Cornelius: Hello, I am Cornelius Talmidge. My family brought me here on Monday but I broke free and went on a bit of a bender. Woman: Well if you're Cornelius Talmidge ten whose...? [Homer has escaped through the window and is running into the distance.] -- And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for these meddling kids! "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Later that night, Homer and Marge are in bed. When, I get older Marge I want you to promise to put me in a home. It's like being a baby but you can appreciate it. -- Homer, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Marge: Well, I'm glad you've been having the time of your life because I've had my hands full with Apu's mother! Homer: Oh right, the fake marriage thing. How's that going? -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" [Apu's mother enters, discovering Homer and Marge in the same bed, and Apu in a sleeping bag on the floor.] Apu: [on floor] [faking] Oh Marge, how could you? Marge: [tired of the whole thing] Give it up Apu. Apu: Mother, I am sorry. I lied to you about being married. Homer: Lied to his mother. [tuts] -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: But the fact that I have staged this rediculous farce proves to you how much I do not want to go through with this arranged marriage. Apu's mother: Oh, I didn't realise how strongly you felt Apu! [beat] Now wipe that smile off your face. We have a wedding to plan! -- Tables turn quickly, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Homer: You know what you could do...? Apu: Shut up. Homer: You could fake your own death... Apu: Oh won't you shut up. Homer: All you need is a car bomb... Apu: I can't believe you don't shut up! -- Homer's zany plans, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % The next morning, Apu's mother is on the telephone to Manjula. Yes, Yes, Monjula, I will take care of all the wedding plans. You just get on a plane and come to America. [Marge turns egg timer over and looks at her watch] I have to go. [speaks in Indian, obviously insulting Marge.] Believe me I'd like to. Bye! [hangs up] -- Apu's mother, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Marge: I've been looking over this list for the ceromony. I've got the extra wine glasses but I'm still short a Tandori oven, an elephant and four castrati. Bart: What's a castrati? Marge: I don't know but I'm sure it's something spicy. -- Unlearned oafs, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % At Moes Tavern, the guys are having a beer. Lenny: Have you seen Apu lately? He looks terrible! Carl: Yeah, rumor has it that Marge through him out. Barney: Tough break! She's a beautiful lady. Moe: You got that straight Barn. All: [raising beer mugs] To Marge! -- Sweet drunk talk, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Homer: [walks in avec Apu] Moe, what do you recommend for severe depression? Moe: Booze, booze and more booze. -- Start a tab, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Nothing like a depresant to chase the blues away. [everyone agrees] -- Lenny, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: Monjula and I have not seen each other for 20 years. Two people cannot fall in love - sight unseen. Moe: Hang on there. I'm counting in that. [reading mail order brides] -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: Only 24 hours left of bacholorism. Homer: Actually it's more like 12. No, seven hours. Am I stupid. It's 7 hours. [shows Apu his watch] See, seven. -- Seven, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Homer decides the cure for Apu's problems will be to have fun, starting % with a nice jacuzzi at the old folks home. [the water bubbles.] Homer: Is this the life or what? Jasper: Want me to turn on the bubbles? -- The future is in fart jokes, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % At the Air India airport. Which bombay to Springfield flight is she on? The 10:00, 10:15 or 10:30? -- Lisa, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Cabin Crew Man: [To tiger trainers] I am so terribly sorry sir, It appears that your tiger has been sent to St. Louis. Gunter: I'll send you to St. Louis! Ernst: No, no, he's not worth it! -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % They both indicate their tiger on the chart. % In our favorite family's back garden, the wedding is being set. Apu's mother: How's the fire coming. Is it holy enough yet? Bart: Almost! [tears hymns and tosses them into the blaze.] -- Just a couple more bibles and a crucifix will do, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % In Homer's bedroom, he is struggling to get his pants on. Apu: Can you believe it? Tradition forbids me to even look at the woman who I am going to spend the rest of my life with. Has the whole world gone crazy? Homer: Nope. Just your screwy country. -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Apu decides only the Gods can stop this wedding now, giving Homer one of % his trademark crazy ideas. % The wedding is underway. Lisa is handing out flower garlands for the % friends attending. Moe: No, no pansies for me! Lisa: It's the tradition in India. Moe: Alright, it'll cover the gravy stains. [Bart kicks him.] Bart: Tradition. -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Marge: Thankyou, for helping us out Rev. Lovejoy. I know you have never held a Hindu Ceremony. Lovejoy: Well, Christ is Christ. Plus I consulted a Hindu web-site. -- Ah, the wonders of the Internet, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Trumpets sound, and Apu enters the wedding on an elephant. Apu: [unenthusiastic] Hello everyone, What a happy happy day. Bart: Wow, I wish I had an elephant! Lisa: You did, his name was Stampy, you loved him. Bart: Oh yeah... -- Continuity takes it's toll, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % The elephant spots a mouse, and crushes it! % Apu gets down from the elephant and meets Manjula for the first time in % many years. Homer breaks into the wedding trying to put it on hold! Homer: I am the God, Genesh! This wedding angers me. It will break up or all will die. Apu: Oh God! Homer: Please Listen to me! Indian: Tu begin Ganesh. Ganesh by undercan deay ne! ["You are not Ganesh. Ganesh is graceful"] [chases after Homer] Homer: [runs off and loses an arm] Stop chasing Ganesh, you're just going to get more Wrath! -- Homer tries to stop Apu's wedding, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: Oh, this is all my fault. To be perfectly true to you I have not been exactly looking forward to this arranged marriage. Manjula: Nor have I, marrying a complete stranger, it is crazy! -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Everyone, Ganesh has been subdued [shot of him in tree] Resume the ceremony! -- Apu's mother, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: Quickly tell me, what is your favourite movie, book, and food? Manjula: The answer to all three is Fried Green Tomatoes. -- "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: Do you think this marriage will work? Monjula: I don't know, we can always get a divorce. -- Planning ahead, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % The soon to be wedded couple walk around the fire hand in hand and to the % front. Reverend Lovejoy marries them. [crying] Geez, I am no good at weddings! -- Moe, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % The band plays "Close to You" by The Carpenters, Indian style. Lisa: Dad, those peanuts aren't for you, they're for the elephant! Homer: They are? [Elephant grabs him with it's trunk.] Aghh, put me down! Ganesh commands you! -- Elephant to elephant, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Apu: Well, so far so good, don't you think? I can't wait to show you my appartment. Manjula: Apartment?! No No, you must buy me a house. And you are getting a haircut. Apu: [shocked, worried] Oh! Manjula: Got you! [Both laugh] -- Cruel humor, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" Stop, come on elephant! Whee, everyone is upside down! [laughs] -- Homer, "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" % Fin. ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {bu} Buchanun (buchanun-aol.com) {hl} Haynes Lee {ddg} Don Del Grande {dga} Dale G. Abersold {dp} Damian Penny {dsb} Donni Saphire-Bernstein {gc} Gary Chase {ji} John Isles IV {jr} Jeremy Reaban {lc} Laura Canon {nmd} Nathan Mulac DeHoff {th} Tony Hill {zi} Zil (echang-uclink4.berkeley.edu) ============================================================================== > Legal Mumbo Jumbo ============================================================================== [5F04] capsule copyright 2000, Hari Michael Wierny, and The Simpsons Archive. (The quotes remain the property of Fox, and the reproduced articles remain the property of their respective authors. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.) Not to be redistributed in public forum without the permission of the author. Quotes transcribed by Nick Hartley, summary passages by yours truly.