The Great Money Caper Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Michael Polcino ============================================================================== Production code: CABF03 Original Airdate on FOX: 10-Dec-2000 Capsule revision C (28-Dec-03) ============================================================================== > "TV Guide" Synopsis ============================================================================== [TVGuide.com] With Homer-logical justification, Bart and Homer go on the grift, and do fairly well before joining a more experienced con man for a big score. Dan Castellaneta, Nancy Cartwright, Julie Kavner. {sb} [TV Guide advertisement] "Bart and Homer: Con Men? Tonight, they're scamming their way through Springfield!" Homer appears in disguise, and Bart is wearing dark glasses and carrying a cane saying, "Won't you help a poor blind boy -- hey you in the hat! I'm talking to you." {bg} ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Blackboard: THE NURSE IS NOT DEALING THE NURSE IS NOT D at cutoff Couch: The couch is underwater. The Simpsons, wearing scuba wetsuits, swim to their usual spots. After they're settled in, the camera pulls back to reveal the couch is in a giant fishbowl. ============================================================================== > Did You Notice... ============================================================================== A Bijanki: ... Homer's shirt has buttons and a pocket? ... Hyderabad (as in, "approved by the royal magic college of Hyderabad") is a city in central India, and Bart pronounced its name incorrectly? Don Del Grande: ... in the opening, Maggie is wearing a star instead of a bow in her hair? ... the sturgeon didn't burn up -- or even get hot, for that matter - falling through Earth's atmosphere? (And to think NASA was spending all that money on heat tiles all these years ...) Joe Green: ... Homer's octopus keychain? ... the fat, bespectacled juror? Darrel Jones: ... Mrs. Hibbert is at the Squidport with no sign of her husband? ... one of the Yale recruiters from [4F06] is in the jury? Joe Klemm: ... the magic kit front box has a genie with a saw? Mike Reed: ... the octopus thingy squeaks when Homer puts it in his pocket? ... this episode was rated TV-PG despite the goriness of Skinner getting shot? Benjamin Robinson: ... the valet actually seems a little disappointed that he can't go joyriding in Homer's car? ... as he's driving home from the Squidport, Homer's right front tire wobbles? ... the "FBI man" can drive with the "EVIDENCE" sticker blocking his vision? ... Louie the crook is on the jury? ============================================================================== > Voice Credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Questo, Cosmonaut 1, Mel, Abe, Crazy Old Man, Lawyer) - Julie Kavner (Marge, Patty) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Todd, Ralph) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Valet, Mechanic, Chief Wiggum) - Harry Shearer (Diablo [?], Cosmonaut 2, Ned, Principal Skinner, Kent, Hibbert, Jasper, Judge, Otto) - Special Guest Voice - Ed Norton (FBI Agent) - Also Starring - Tress MacNeille (Mrs. Hibbert, Lawyer 2) - Karl Wiedergott (Puppets Man) ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== - "The Great Muppet Caper" (movie) {jk} - title a spoof ~ "The Great Santini" by Pat Conroy (book) {jg2} - the Magic Palace serves "The Great Linguini" + "Paper Moon" (movie) - general plot is similar {al} - Ryan and Tatum O'Neal try to sell Bibles to widows as a scam (cf. Homer, Bart, and Flanders) {nf} + John Wayne (actor) {gs} - once drunkenly addressed a group of college students, saying "I'm not tryin' to talk for ... for clapping" - "Pulp Fiction" (movie) {bjr} - the ball-gag used on Marge looks similar to the ones in the film - "Magnolia" (movie) {bs} - Officer Jim Kurring is scared poopless when a frog lands on his car out of nowhere, exactly like the sturgeon landed on poor Homer's car + Jackson 5 (musical group) {sr} - man with the puppets attached to him imitates this group, with the man himself in the role of Michael Jackson + "A Child's Garden of Verses" (book) {al} - "A Child's Garden of Cons" is based on Robert Louis Stevenson's classic book of rhymes + "The Lone Ranger" (TV series) {jk} - Homer calling Bart "Kemo Sabe" - "Saturday Night Live (TV series) {kmc} - while on the phone Kent Brockman says "goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow" which is how Chevy Chase signed off on the Weekend Update sketch + Publisher's Clearing House (sweepstakes) {jk} - the boys' Prize Patrol Scam - Anna Nicole Smith (actress, sort of) {bjr} - she is probably the "crazy stripper girl" to whom Abe refers + "Scared Straight" (TV special) {jg2} - Homer: "I want to scare my kid straight!" + "Superfreak" by Rick James (song) {jg2} - Wiggum: "I'll show you the Rick James cell. It's superfreaky!" + "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" (musical) {jg2} - Marge: "He's doing 'Dreamcoat' at the dinner theater!" ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - [7G04] Marge gets drunk {mr2} - [3F06], [CABF01] A Simpson fakes their death {jg2} - [4F13] Springfield Squidport seen - [4F22] Mountain Dew is mentioned - [5F21] "A Child's Garden of Verses" is parodied {dj} - [BABF03], [BABF20] Homer with chloroform {mr2} - [BABF04] Bart uses melodramatic "mystery" voice to say, "It's an illusion." (cf. "Or so it would seem.") Perhaps not coincidentally, both of these are Carolyn Omine episodes {bjr} - [BABF10] Homer references to Maude's death {mr2} - [BABF14] The Squidport seen {mr2} - [BABF20] Homer rather quick to use chloroform {bjr} ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - Sign at the Magic Palace {bjr} MAGIC PALACE THE GREAT LINGUINI $5.99 - Poster at the gift shop {bjr} HOUDINI [picture] KING OF CARDS [It's funny because Houdini was renowned for being a master escape artist] - Magic box {bjr} MAGIC KIT +-------+ [genie sawing] | props | [lady in half] +-------+ AGES 8 TO 80 APPROVED BY THE ROYAL MAGIC COLLEGE OF HYDERABAD - Sign at body shop {bjr} _______ / DENTZ \ /\/\/\/\/ \---------\ |BLACKEST FINGERNAILS IN TOWN | +--- --------------- ---+ \__/ \__/ - Bart's con book {bjr} A CHILD'S GARDEN of CONS - Homer's new vanity plate I GRIFT - "FBI man's" badge COLGATE CAVITY PATROL [seal] CCP [tooth] OFFICIAL AGENT [signature] [part of the word "official" is obscured by the man's thumb] ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity, and other goofs ============================================================================== * If the magician didn't know Marge before the show, then why were the monkeys wearing those green dresses? {jg2} = Marge's lipstick disappears when she asks the kids to be quiet. {bjr} * The "Russians" in the episode weren't cursing or even speaking Russian. {ob} * How did Homer get the gold print for Flanders' name? {mr2} * I don't think Abe was of employment age during the depression. {mr2} * Bart, who's not old enough to grow facial hair yet, wears a fake mustache, and yet no one notices how awkward this is? {al} c When the "FBI" agent says, "Yes, fraud," the closed-captioning reads, "That's right." {bjr} c When Homer says he still has his job "at the sweepstakes place," the CC reads, "with the prize patrol." {bjr} + Willie can't fire a handgun, thanks to the crippling arthritis in his index fingers. ============================================================================== > Reviews ============================================================================== A Bijanki: This was a good episode! The plot was pretty good until the ... er ... craptacular ending, but the surfing bit made up for it. In particular, these parts were particularly hilarious: (1) The Albany ham scam, LOL!! (2) Call me mint jelly, 'cause I'm on the lamb -- that was funny in and of itself and then Grandpa riding away in the wheelchair was uproariously good. (3) The chloroform/mountain dew bit. (4) Skinner standing straight and proper on the surfboard, LOL. Because of its good gags, as well as a decent plot, this rates an (A-) Stephen Burks: There are a few good things to say about this episode. It did make me laugh out loud more than any other episode this season (that probably does not say much, I know), but there is just something missing from these episodes as the show goes into the third act (the final stretch, so to speak). The beginning of the last few episodes has been sharp and the jokes are well timed, but by the end of the episode it feels like the writers, after not being able to think of any nice closing, said "let's throw a random surf scene in the end to piss off the a.t.s. people." Until the middle of the third act I would say that this was an A episode by the curve of the post-season 9 episodes. But the ending makes this a C at best. (C) Joe Green: The most ironic thing about this show was that the ending was actually _less_ contrived than that of your typical Scully-era OFF episode. There were also some genuinely funny moments, including a typically thigh-slapping Ralph line ("I look like cable TV!") I think Season 12 is finally starting to gain momentum. (B) Carl Johnson: This was the first episode in a long time where nothing seemed superfluous; all characters present were integral to this well-made parody of "The Sting" (isn't it the first such parody to NOT include ragtime music anywhere?). The ending was hilarious, making up for some character problems in the first two acts, and that plot-destructing final scene on the beach. All-in-all a very entertaining episode. A high (B) Darrel Jones: Maybe it's because I had to stay up past midnight to see this ep because of a stupid Raiders game, but I didn't enjoy this episode much while I watched it. Afterward, though, I felt somehwat better about it. No classic, sure, but it wasn't as bad as the last few eps. Bart and Homer as grifters was fun, and the ending was a hoot. 7/10 (C+) Adam Long: This has probably been the only episode of the season so far in which I know exactly where I stand on it. I say this because it is probably the only episode of the season (with the possible exception of "Lisa the Treehugger") that was consistent in quality throughout. [...] "The Great Money Caper" was pretty straightforward, and if I had to describe it in one word, it would be "average." Nothing completely outrageous happened, but nothing very worthwhile happened either. The plot dragged on, but the [way they resolved the plot] was good. The episode focused on "Jerk-ass Homer" and also "Jerk-ass Bart", but they learned a lesson in the end. There was humor, sure, and plenty of it worked, but there were about as many failed gags as successful ones. IMO, this was the perfectly average episode. (C) Michael Nusair: Bah. What happened to this season? It started out so good, then turned around 180 degrees and took a nosedive into the oh-so-shallow pool of mediocrity. This episode -- like last weeks -- wasn't bad, really. But it certainly wasn't good, either. Most of the jokes didn't work for me. I spent almost all of the first two acts completely stone-faced, never even cracking a smile. The third act had a couple of chuckles -- which were invalidated by the horrible, horrible ending. The fact that they acknowledged the fact that it was a horrible ending doesn't make it any better, either. It just means that they were too lazy/stupid to change it. (C) Mike Reed: Definitely one of the oddest episodes in a while, but, oddly it didn't stop me from enjoying it. Marge getting drunk was very unnecessary, and a cheap joke, IMHO, but the grifting plot picked up nicely from the magic intro. From there, it was a bunch of good laughs, particularly in the second act. On the negative side, there were a lot of loose ends, but I guess that was the joke, so I'll give it a (B+) Robin Steinmann: Bewildering episode to me, as I regarded it as one big meta-joke about, yeah, about what? About lame sitcom plot revolving around the out-of-the-blue (out-of-the-MIR) need for quick-money-schemes ending with a bit far-fetched moral hammer? Or about high fan expectations? I go for the latter. Still, it all fell a bit flat, and was not very memorable as a whole. Not very funny, not awfully horrible. A neutral (C) Fox Wolf: Just okay. Nothing at all to drop the grade, but the jokes weren't too spectacular. The levitating tiger and Homer telling Hibbert that the dog wasn't for sale really caught me, and Ralph's line, and just the sight of Marge's hair being shot was funny. (B-) Yours Truly: Yet another episode that starts to go someplace interesting, but doesn't end up there. Homer and Bart (and later, Grandpa) pull off a series of entertaining and clever con games, and provide an unflattering look at their ethical bearings. Marge's tipsy nightclub act at the beginning and Willie's trial near the end are also good scenes. It's too bad "The Great Money Caper's" general cleverness fled it when it came time for the ending, which was one of those off-the-wall, "we couldn't think of a way to end this" endings. In spite of its flaws, "Caper" is a pleasant episode. Or was I just fooled into thinking so? Ah, well, either way I enjoyed it just the same. (B-) AVERAGE GRADE: B- (2.65) Std Dev.: 0.7413 (17 reviews computed) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> Musical References Joe Klemm: "Pipeline" [is the] music at the end of the episode. [{al} says it's originally by the Chantays -- Ed.] >> Meta-reference corner Mike Reed: Lisa's comment on the ending being "far-fetched and insulting to your intelligence" is more than likely a reference to all of us who, of course, are going to say the same thing about the episode. >> Oh, they ought to call that a "*Large* Island Iced Tea!" Andrew Levine gives us the recipe for this drink: A Long Island iced tea is a drink which doesn't actually have any tea in it at all. Instead, it's made by pouring equal parts vodka, gin, rum, triple sec, and tequila into a glass with ice in it. You add a little lemon juice and fill the rest of the glass with cola. Tom Restivo adds: Hmmm ... there ain't no one way to make it ... From drinkboy.com: Long Island Ice Tea 1/2 ounce Vodka 1/2 ounce Gin 1/2 ounce White Rum 1/2 ounce Cointreau 1 ounce Lemon Juice Top with Cola Build all ingredients in an ice tea glass, then top with cola and garnish with a lemon wedge. From netcooks.com: 1 oz. Rum 1 oz. vodka 1 oz. gin 1 oz. orange juice 1 oz. lime juice 1 oz. lemon juice Coke or Pepsi soda or 7-Up Triple Sec Mix the rum, vodka, and gin together. Add the orange juice, lime juice, and lemon juice. Fill with Coke or Pepsi AND soda or 7-Up. Top off with Triple Sec. Enjoy in moderation! And from drink101.com: Ingredients 1/2 oz. vodka 1/2 oz. gin 1/2 oz. light rum 1/2 tequila splash of triple sec splash of lime juice splash of Coke or Pepsi Lemon slice for garnish Glass: Highball <-- What Marge drank from Directions: Combine everything but the Coke into a highball glass with ice, stir gently, add the Coke, squeeze and drop the lemon slice into the drink and serve. One key element is that it tastes fine, but kicks a wallop afterwards, especially by the time you down a few like Marge. Definitely drink in moderation, and give Homer the keys if you drink. >> This week's "how'd they get that past the censor" line is ... ... awarded by Benjamin Robinson ...: ... "My son's not turning tricks for free!" The phrase "turning tricks" is used to describe what a prostitute does when she's, um, providing services to a client. >> I don't see how I'll ever get tired of this! Joe Klemm: One of the latest trends that is hitting the US is the singing rubber fish. These devices have rubber fish being attached to a plaque as if it was caught. However, by pushing a button or walking pass it, the fish will person and start singing. This craze is such a hit right now that there's even one singing fish based on Jaws. Mike Reed adds: Homer's comment on buying a singing rubber fish was a reference to a line of novelties called "Billy Bass." [...] They sing "Take Me To The River" and "Don't Worry, be Happy." I've seen the things given as gifts twice this year, and they are the most annoying things ever made. They hypnotize children and annoy everyone else. >> "She hasn't touched her Manwich" Matt Gasaway explains what this delicacy is: It's a name-brand loose meat sandwich thing. Came in a can. I think you mixed it with hamburger, like Hamburger Helper. Come to think of it, I haven't really seen any "Manwich" ads since like the 80's ... which makes it EXACTLY the kind of thing that Patty and Selma would serve at their place. Plus, that Manwich was freaking HUGE! "For a Man-Sized Appetite, Make it a Manwich Meal". (The ad went something like that.) >> What people did before Regis Benjamin Robinson: Publishers' Clearing House is the most famous of several organizations running multi-million dollar sweepstakes. When the spectacle of giving away large piles of cash wore thin, their marketing people came upon the idea of dispatching "prize patrol" vans. Instead of just telephoning the winners, they'd send a small armada of spokespeople, models, and a TV crew to bring the good news and record it for TV commercials. The commercials became well-known, and are still being spoofed today, in spite of the fact that they haven't run for a while. >> About that ending ... Someone called "indigolem" sounds off about the latest non-sequitir "ending": Not only have the writers gotten lazy and forgotten just about every rule of story writing, but they now make fun of the fact that they've gotten lazy. That can be done easily enough by coming here and to other forums to witness fans' gripes (which are, by the way, perfectly legitimate) and throwing them into the episode. In addition to that, they seem to make their episodes lazily for the very purpose of making fun of that fact. Just who do they make their shows for these days? Gene Poole answers: The very sad part is the fact that they made tonight's ending as a direct joke to those of you who tear each episode apart bit by bit and find nothing redeeming about the show, and yet you miss the point and see it as another flaw in the show. Y'know what? Obviously they can make good endings, they choose simply not to. They like the episodes and the endings the way they are doing them; they're making them this way because it works for them; not because they can't come up with anything better. Again I say: If you are unhappy with the episodes that are coming out these days, stop watching. In conclusion, who are they making their shows for these days? Not you. Alex J. ThreeThreeOneZeroSix writes: Huh? They're making it for the people that ignore the bad and only focus on the good of each episode? That must be a strong audience to cater to. I thought a show like The Simpsons encouraged us to turn away from formulaic sitcoms that had no worthy characters and hardly any original story ideas. That was just a stupid ending. A lazy, stupid ending that some people might find funny because it has absolutely nothing to do with the plot. And yeah, it would have been funny if The Simpsons didn't get away with using the idiotic, "can't make a good conclusion so let's insult the intelligence of the viewing audience" scene so often. Why should a series be commended for not even being able to connect a damn conclusion with its original story line? Why should we commend it for getting away with outrageous story lines? Didn't Roseanne get canceled for this? >> Fun with promotions From the intrepid Mike Reed: Announcer: The secrets of magic and mind-reading are revealed! Mentalist: I'm getting a drink order. You want a be-- Homer: Beer! How did you know? (his beer belly flops onto the table) Announcer: Edward Norton guest-stars on an all new Simpsons! >> Hey, you forgot a goof! You might be wondering why "the fish would have burnt up in the atmosphere" isn't listed in the goof section. I think the whole implausibility of that gag was deliberate. Otherwise, you could count as a goof the fact that the cosmonauts weren't sucked out of the hatch when it opened. And that the fish would fall directly to earth, instead of remaining in orbit like the space station itself. And that, even if a sturgeon could make the trip intact through the atmosphere, it would have struck the ground with enough force to obliterate OFF and much of their immediate surroundings. Physics geeks could probably find other errors, too. But I think it the whole far-fetched quality of this scene was part of the gag. >> Miscellaneous, Etc. The Joe Green alterna-title for this episode is: The Wrath of Con According to Fox (by way of Bill LaRue), this episode scored a Nielsen rating of 16.3 (28 share). This works out to 24.6 million viewers. Among adults aged 18 to 49, the rating was 10.0 (28 share). Fox goes on to boast: Since its 12th season premiere, THE SIMPSONS has posted solid gains compared to its performance the same weeks last year, increasing +13% among Adults 18-49 (7.9/18 vs. 7.0/17), +12% in Adults 18- 34 (9.6/24 vs. 8.6/23), and +15% in Total Viewers (15.8 vs. 13.7 Mil). Haynes Lee: I was going through the smoking list and found out that Grampa smoking the pipe is his first smoking appearance. That leaves Lisa as the only Simpsons family member who has never smoked. Stephen Rennick translates the Russian as: You idiot! You lost our dinner! Benjamin Robinson contributes the following: For our overseas viewers: Long Island is a real place. It's the skinny, horizontal island that makes up the "tail" of New York State. Sturgeon is the fish that gives us that famous Russian delicacy, caviar. Perhaps this is why the cosmonauts are upset about losing it. Homer's car accessories, especially the gold trim, are considered really tacky -- and really appropriate for Homer. Yes, there was a "The Sting, Part II." The audience stayed away in droves, hence Grampa Abe's confidence that no one would guess his scheme. Rick James a singer whose big hit was "Superfreak." He's had several scrapes with the law. ============================================================================== > Quotes and Scene Summary {jp} ============================================================================== % The Simpsons drive to the Magic Palace where a valet is waiting to take % their car. Homer lets him, but admonishes him not to joyride. And just % to be safe, Homer takes his toy octopus off the key ring. % % Inside, the Simpsons sit at a round table in a room with a stage. Questo: Hello, I'm Questo. I'll be your waiter *and* mentalist for this evening. [presses his forehead] I'm receiving a drink order ... something foamy ... is it a bee-- Homer: Beer! Yes! How did you know? [his gut bursts from his shirt onto the table] Questo: [sets a mug down] And for the lady, a Long ... Island iced tea. [pulls the drink out of his jacket and sets it in front of Marge] Marge: Oh, they ought to call that a *Large* Island iced tea! [only she chuckles] No, "Long" is better. Lisa: Are you really gonna to drink that? Marge: Well, maybe a sip; I don't want to offend our mentalist. Questo: [aloof, thinking:] If she doesn't like it, I'll just die! -- "The Great Money Caper" % Marge sips at the drink, and later, she's finished it. Meanwhile, onstage, % a magician makes a tiger appear and then levitate. Marge only looks at her % drink. Lisa: Mom, you're missing a great show! Marge: You don't *know* what I'm missing. [later, Marge has finished many drinks] I'd like to visit that Long Island place ... if only it were real. Magician: Now, for my next illusion, I'll need a volunteer. Marge: [stands up] I'll do it! I always end up doing it. [Marge stumbles onstage, the audience applauds] Magician: I'm Diablo. What's your name? Marge: Marge. Diablo: Okay, Marge, and who's that gentleman you're with? Marge: That's no gentleman, that's my husband. [laughter, rim shot] Lisa: Wow, Mom got a laugh! Bart: I wish she drank every day. Diablo: Do we love Marge or what? [applause] Marge: Oh, please. I didn't say that for clapping. Diablo: Now, Marge, I have a problem. Marge: Oh, yeah? Diablo: You see, the emperor of China is coming over, and I don't have enough colorful silks. Marge: Oh. Diablo: So, what I need of you is-- Marge: You talk too much. Abra-cablabra, am I right? [the women laugh] See, the ladies know what I'm talking about. -- Drunken Marge assists magician, "The Great Money Caper" % Sick of dealing with Marge, Diablo puts a ball gag on her and skips to the % killotine -- basically four consecutive guillotines. Diablo puts Marge % through all of them. Diablo: Don't worry, Marge, you won't feel a thing; you'll feel *four* things. [laughter] Homer: He's very good. [the blades fall and Marge disappears in a flash. From the baskets of the killotine emerge monkeys] Homer: So she was made of chimps! Bart: Man! Magic can do anything! Lisa: What happened to Mom? Marge: I'm right here! [comes out of a giant banana peel] -- "The Great Money Caper" % The audience applauds, but then the monkeys run over and start playing % rough with Marge. An announcement is made to help her since it is not part % of the act. % % In the gift shop, a magic kit catches Bart's eye when he realizes he's in % the recommended age of 8 to 80. Bart asks Homer to get it but Homer moves % him out of the room. They find themselves in the gift shop annex. Bart % ends up with the magic kit and reads the box as the family goes home in % the car. Bart: Wow! It's approved by the Royal Magic College of Hyderabad! Lisa: [scoffs] That's a party magic college. Bart: It is not! Lisa: Yuh-huh! Bart: Nuh-uh! Lisa: Yuh-huh! Marge: Would you cut it out, you two? Mommy needs some quiet right now. -- "The Great Money Caper" % No chance of that, as a giant fish lands on the hood of the car. Lisa % identifies it as a sturgeon. It turns out it came from a Russian space % station where a careless cosmonaut left the hatch open. % % The Simpsons take the car in for repairs at Dentz, where the sarcastic man % is the mechanic. Mechanic: [inspects the fish] Well, *there's* your problem. Homer: I know that! How much to fix it? Mechanic: Well, that's a foreign fish we're looking at, so, uh, 6,500 ... plus 3.50. Homer: Oh, I can't afford that! Bart: Maybe I can make some money, Dad. The magic act is really coming along. [pulls Snowball II from a top hat, Snowball gasps] Homer: Heh-heh-heh. He couldn't breathe. -- "The Great Money Caper" % Bart and Homer go to the docks so Bart can do his magic. Homer yells % through a megaphone to the people passing by. Step right up! See the magic boy, with his mystifying feats that will leave you scratching your head until it's raw and bloody! -- Homer, "The Great Money Caper" % Ned, Rod, and Todd watch in amazement when Bart pull flowers from Ned's % pocket. Homer: Come on, pony up, Flanders. The kid's not turning tricks for nothing. Ned: Oh, no. I could never support the black arts. Homer: Black arts?! Ned: Yeah, you know, magic, fortune telling, oriental cooking.... -- "The Great Money Caper" % A man with four puppets attached to his arms and legs by poles come up and % complains that Bart is in their spot. Homer: [nervous:] Okay, we'll move. We don't want any trouble, fellas. Bart: Dad, only one of them is real. Homer: I know, but which one? -- "The Great Money Caper" % Later, Homer counts the day's earnings. Homer: Sixty cents? I would have made more if I'd gone into work today! Bart: Hey, don't blame me, I've gotta compete with TV and the internet. Homer: A good son would come through for his dad. Bart: Yeah, and a good dad wouldn't miss his son's little league games! Homer: I told you -- I find them boring! Bart: Well *I* showed up for all your stupid interventions! Homer: Oh, that's it! You can walk home! [gets in car and drives away] Bart: Dad, come back! I can't walk home with all this stuff. [Bart sits on the curb. Some nearby people noticed the scene] Mrs.Hibbert: Poor boy. Here's some money for bus fare. [drops money in Bart's top hat] Mel: My father was a monster, too. [puts money in Bart's hat] Puppets Man: Come on, brothers, dig deep. [drops a bill into the hat as the puppets each drop a bill onto the curb] -- "The Great Money Caper" % As Homer drives home, still complaining about Bart's poor show, Bart passes % by in a taxi, flaunting his hat full of cash. At home, Bart eats a steak. % Homer finally asks where the money came from. Bart: People. I guess they thought I was a charity case. Homer: Really? Hey, maybe we could do that again! Can you look even more pathetic? [Bart messes up his face and whimpers] Oh-ho, that's beautiful! We could make a fortune! Bart: But wouldn't that make us con artists? Homer: Well, yeah, but ... God conned *me* out of 6,500 bucks in car repairs. Bart: So ... in a way, we'd just be balancing out the universe. Homer: There you go! We'd be stealing from people we know! It's just like the seasons! Bart: Sounds good. Want to eat my fat? Homer: I think you know the answer to that. [gulps down Bart's steak fat] -- "The Great Money Caper" % [End of Act One. Time: 6:45] % % In the treehouse, Bart and Homer look through "A Child's Garden of Cons" % to find some scams to pull. Bart: This book has all the classic cons. There's the pigeon drop, the ear wigger, the Brillstein grab.... Homer: They have any father-and-son grifts? Bart: Well, there's the Albany ham scam. Homer: Interesting. Bart: Oh, wait, here we go! -- "The Great Money Caper" % In the kitchen, Homer and Bart put frosting on a throw pillow when Marge % walks in. Marge: What are you doing? Why are you frosting that old throw pillow? Homer: I could ask you the very same question. Marge: Mmm ... should I just back out of the room? Homer: Would you? [she would] -- "The Great Money Caper" % Back at the docks: Bart: Okay, Dad, are you ready for our first con? Homer: You bet. Let's trim the mark. Bart: Nice use of the lingo, Homer. Homer: 10-4, Kimosabe. -- "The Great Money Caper" % Bart wears black glasses and uses a feeling cane. In his other hand he % holds the fake cake. Nearby, Kent Brockman finishes a phone call. He turns % around and immediately runs into Bart, who drops the cake. Kent: Oh, excuse me. Bart: What happened? Where's my cake? [worried:] It's alright, isn't it? Kent: Um.... Homer: What have you done, you clumsy little ox?! [gasp] That cake was for your deaf sister! Kent: Sir, it was my fault-- Homer: No, no. Don't protect him. [to Bart:] You'll work off that cake in the acid mines! Kent: Oh, no, no! I'll pay for the cake. Homer: Well, you're the mark. [Bart jabs him] ...of integrity. -- "The Great Money Caper" % Homer and Bart come home having grifted a lot of money. They decide the % first thing they should buy is a singing rubber fish. Next they go home. Marge: There you are. How was the magic act? Homer: What in the hell are you talking about? [Bart jabs him] Oh, right, the magic! The magic was great. It's really the way to go. Lisa: How'd you do your act? You left your magic kit here. Bart: Or so it would seem! [Bart and Homer leave the room thinking they've fooled Marge and Lisa] Lisa: I don't know, Mom, I think they're up to something. Marge: Sure looks that way, but at least Bart and Homer are spending quality time together. Lisa: It that a Long Island iced tea? Marge: [picks up the glass] Oh, this? Hmm, I think it is! [drinks it] [slurred:] You're a pretty girl. [pets Lisa's face] -- "The Great Money Caper" % At the docks, Bart calls for his doggy. Dr. Hibbert stops to help. Bart % says that his dog was playing in the water when he disappeared. Bart % describes the dog's leash as bright red with bells. Dr. Hibbert reassures % Bart, but then notices a shark offshore with the leash coming out of its % mouth. Hibbert: Oh dear Lord. Bart: He's the bestest dog ever. He's light brown and he has a spot on him shaped like a heart. Hibbert: Sorry, son, but-- Bart: I just gotta get him back! Or, if not him, a similar dog. [Homer in disguise comes by with Santa's Little Helper with a painted heart spot] Homer: Dog for sale! Dog for sale! Hibbert: How much for the dog? Homer: Oh, he's not for sale. Hibbert: Guh! Homer: Although ... if the right offer came along.... -- "The Great Money Caper" % Back at Dentz, the car has been fixed up -- and then some. Homer pays % the mechanic and gives him a tip. He turn around and bumps into Bart, % wearing a yarmulke, who drops a cake. Ah! My bar mitzvah cake! Oy, I'll never be a man! [takes money from the mechanic] -- Bart, "The Great Money Caper" % Homer and Bart walk up to the Flanders' home. Bart: Why are we still grifting? The car's paid for; doesn't that balance out the universe? Homer: In a way, but I also remembered some other stuff, like my bike that was stolen in third grade. Plus the baldness. Bart: Okay, I'm sold. [Homer rings the doorbell and Ned answers] Homer: Hello, is the lady of the house in? Ned: Oh, no! Homer, remember, Maudie got called up to heaven. Homer: Oh, of course, of course.... It's just that... Ned: What? Homer: ...well, before she died, she ordered this Bible especially for you. [it's a nice personalized Bible] Ned: Why, there's my name ... in gold! Homer: Now, you weren't home, so we had to pay the delivery man. Ned: Well, I'll just reimburse you right-- Wait a minute, this seems an awful lot like that movie "Paper Moon". Bart: Run, Dad! [they escape to the treehouse] Homer: We'll be safe in here. Bart: That was too close. Maybe it's time to quit the game. Abe: Amateurs! Homer: Dad? Abe: [lights a pipe] That's right! Bart: You don't smoke a pipe. Abe: That's right! [coughs] Homer: How'd you get wise to us? Abe: Are you kidding? They used to call me Grifty McGrift. I wrote the book on flimflamming. Bart: [looks at the back of their con book] Wow, he did! Abe: Yeah, in the depression, you had to grift ... either that or work. Homer: So, what's the pitch, old man? Abe: Team up with me, boys, and we'll go for the biggest honey pot of 'em all! -- "The Great Money Caper" % The three go to the retirement home. Bart momentarily feels bad about % conning them, but Grandpa reminds them that the old folks would otherwise % just give their money to a televangelist. So, Abe starts to describe the % plan: it was in "The Sting Part 2," so nobody knows about it. % % Abe Simpson is back at the retirement home as Homer and Bart pull up in % the car labeled "prize patrol". They both wear disguises and Homer carries % a giant check. Homer: Which one of you youngsters is Abe Simpson? Abe: I'm Abe Simpson. Homer: You've just won $10 million from that publisher's cleary dealie! Abe: Wha...? Crazy Old Man: Everybody, come quick! Abe Simpson is rich! Abe: I can't believe it! I can finally afford a young, crazy stripper wife! [starts dancing] Yeah I'm gonna get me the craziest, strippiest, m-- [grabs chest and falls over] Homer: [checks his pulse] He's dead! [residents murmur] Bart: Oh, this is terrible! Now who do we give the money to? Homer: I guess we'll just have to haul the check back to headquarters. Too bad we couldn't just give it to these nice folks. Bart: Forget it, Ed. Do you know what it costs to sign over a check this big? Why, the wealth transfer fee would run at least $100 a head! Homer: You're right. We'd better just take this check back for shredding. Jasper: No, wait. We've got 100 bucks each. Hang on! -- A brilliant scam, "The Great Money Caper" % The residents all give Homer and Bart money, except for one man who holds % out until the end. He finally comes, handcuffs Homer, and announces himself % as FBI, arresting him for fraud. He readjusts his clothes and stance to % no longer look old. Bart tries to act old to get away, but he too gets % cuffed. The FBI agent asks where the inside man is, so Abe hops into a % motorized wheelchair and takes off down the road. Call me mint jelly, 'cause I'm on the lam! -- Abe Simpson, "The Great Money Caper" % [End of Act Two. Time: 13:29] % % The FBI agent compliments Homer and Bart on their car as he uses it to drive % them to jail. Homer: Thanks! It took a lot of grifting! [Bart jabs him] Bart: Please, FBI man, don't throw us in jail! We just made one mistake! Homer: Yeah, we're not criminals, we're just two crazy, mixed-up kids! [they arrive at the station] FBI Agent: Hmm ... okay, tell you what -- I'll let you turn yourselves in. Maybe they'll go easier on you. Homer: You'd do that for us?! FBI Agent: [unlocks their handcuffs] Well, I *did* ruin the boy's birthday cake. Go on in ... [sternly:] but I'll be watching! [on the way up the stairs, Homer tells Bart that he's got an idea] Homer: Chief, I'd like to scare my son straight. Could I show him a jail cell? Wiggum: Sure, I'll put you in the Rick James suite -- it's super-freaky. [in the cell, Bart and Homer look out the window to the FBI agent] Bart: Okay, we're all locked up now! Homer: Yeah! [quietly:] You big idiot! FBI Agent: Excellent! I guess I'll just be swiping your car now. Homer: Wha...? FBI Agent: Oh, and this lovely bag of cash! [the money from the previous scam, labeled "evidence"] So long, suckers! Woo-hoo! [drives off and throws his badge into the jail cell] Bart: That's not an FBI badge! Homer: Colgate Cavity Patrol?! [groans] Bart: That guy was a grifter. Homer: Yeah, and he conned us good. Well, at least we still have our jobs at the sweepstakes place. -- "The Great Money Caper" % Walking home, Bart and Homer realize they need an explanation for the % missing car. Homer: Lies got us into this mess, Son. From now on, it's honesty all the way. [at Home] Marge: You were carjacked ... in the church parking lot?! Homer: Absolutely. We had stopped in for a quick prayer, when -- Bart, would you call him a crazy man? Bart: Definitely ... well, crazy about carjacking. Lisa: What did he look like? Homer: Um ... let's see ... he was ... foreign ... and he had... Bart: Wild, bushy hair -- like an animal! Lisa: Anything else? Homer: Well, he seemed like a loner -- kept to himself, mostly. Bart: And, he said if we went to the cops, he'd come back for Maggie. Marge: [gasps] Oh, dear! We don't want that! Homer: [quickly:] Anywho, the whole nightmare has really made us sleepy. [forced yawn] Let's hit the hay. -- Honesty, "The Great Money Caper" % The next morning, Marge comes into the bedroom to wake up Homer to watch % the news, because the crazed, foreign carjacker has been caught. Live, % on TV, Groundskeeper Willie is arrested by Lou and Eddy. Willie: [on TV:] I didna do it, I tell ya! Homer: Uh-oh. Willie: [on TV:] At least let me comb me hair; it's all wild and bushy! Wiggum: [on TV:] What do you care, loner? Homer: [fakes enthusiasm:] Well, look at that! But who called the police? Lisa: We did! Marge: After we got Maggie to a safe house, of course. [at Patty and Selma's, Maggie won't eat her Manwich] Willie: [on TV:] You cannot do this to Willie! I'm innocent I tell ya! Marge: They always say they're innocent. It's such a turn-off! Bart: Dad, Willie got arrested 'cause of us! Homer: Course he did, son! He's a filthy crook. Now let's all hit the hay. Marge: It's 10 in the morning. Homer: I guess you haven't heard of chloroform. [he chloroforms himself] -- Homer and Bart's thief is caught, "The Great Money Caper" % At court, the pastey faced/blue haired lawyer interrogates Groundskeeper % Willie. Lawyer: Will you tell the court your whereabouts at the time of the carjacking? Willie: I was alone in me Unabomber-style shack; I had nothing to do with that carjacking. Lawyer: Carjacking?! Who said anything about a carjacking? [galley and jury murmurs] Willie: But, didn't you just say--? Lawyer: *I'll* ask the questions here, Carjacker Willie! Lawyer 2: Objection! Judge: I'm going to allow it -- it characterizes the defendant as a carjacker. Bart: [quietly to Homer:] Dad, we've got to tell everyone the truth! Homer: Let's see how this plays out. -- "The Great Money Caper" % Now the lawyer interrogates Homer. Lawyer: Mr. Simpson, could you describe your assailant to the court? Homer: I told you, my memory is fuzzy! Fuzzy! Lawyer: Fuzzy like Willie's beard?! [galley gasps] Homer: Yes, exactly! No, no, I mean, the whole incident is hazy. Lawyer: Hazy like the moors of Scotland?! [galley gasps] Homer: Yes, exactly! [groans and tries to chloroform himself again, but only has Mountain Dew] -- "The Great Money Caper" % Later, in the courtroom, Homer holds a "Justice" pennant. Judge: Mr. foreman, has the jury reached a verdict? Cletus: [ahem] I believe we was promised $5 a day. [is handed money] Alright, then. Guilty! [Willie sobs] Judge: Carjacker Willie, I sentence you to ten years in prison. [bangs gavel] Bart: Dad, tell them! Homer: When the time is right. Willie: Ten years? But I didna do it! Wiggum: Sure you didna. Now, lets get you to Attica-- Willie: No! [snatches Wiggum's gun] You'll never send me up the river! Bart: Dad! Homer: Let's see where he's going with this. -- "The Great Money Caper" % Willie aims the gun through the galley. Everyone ducks. A shot is fired % through Marge's hair. Principal Skinner tries to calm Willie down, but is % promptly shot through the chest. He falls to the floor. Homer: Stop! This has gone on just long enough! Nobody carjacked me. I tried to pull a con, and got conned myself ... and then I lied to you all! [sobs hysterically] So did Bart. [continues sobbing] Marge: [rings bell] Okay, players, that's a wrap! [cheering] Bart: Huh? Lisa: Nice work everybody. Bart: Wait a minute, this whole thing was a setup? Homer: But Skinner got shot! Skinner: [gets up] Yup, blanks and a blood pack. [squirts blood, which falls on Ralph] Clancy: Hey, watch it! Ralph: I look like cable TV! Bart: [to Marge:] What about that bullet hole in your hair? Marge: Squibs. [makes a couple more holes] Abe: [pulls off judge mask] Yeah, we hornswoggled you good. Homer: But what about the guy who took my car? [the "FBI Agent" drives in the courtroom] Agent: Devon Bradley -- character actor, dancer, singer -- I'm a triple threat! Marge: He's doing "Dreamcoat" at the dinner theater. Homer: I can't believe everyone was in on it! Willie: Willie wasn't! Homer: Wait a minute, you're telling me the police force, the TV news, a courthouse full of people, and a popular entertainer had nothing better to do than to teach me and Bart a lesson? Lisa: I know it seems farfetched, even insulting to your intelligence, but there's a simple and highly satisfying explanation. You see-- Otto: [bursts in with a surfboard] Hey everybody, surf's up! -- The hoax explained, "The Great Money Caper" % Everyone cheers and runs out. Everyone who had been in court now surfs, % plus Questo and the cosmonauts. The sturgeon jumps out of the water and % winks at us. % % [End of Act Three. Time: 20:09] ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {al} Andrew Levine {bg} Bruce Gomes {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {bs} Benjamin Swell {dj} Darrel Jones {gs} Geoff S. {jg2} Joe Green {jk} Joe Klemm {jp} Jerry P. {kmc} Kyle M. McCowin {mr2} Mike Reed {nf} Ned Flanders {ob} Ostap Bender {sb} Stephen Burks {sr} Stephen Rennick ============================================================================== > Legal Mumbo Jumbo ============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 2003 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2002 Jerry P. This capsule has been brought to you by Magic Palace. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.